Funny Related Quotes & Sayings

I think the essence of humor has not changed. It's all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed. Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It's brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger. — Bette Midler

We commonly think of freedom as the ability to define alternatives and choose between them. The creative mind exceeds this liberty in being able to redefine itself and reality at large, generating whole new sets of alternatives. — Robert Grudin

Eventually, Krysomallos would be skinned for his fleece, which became known as the Golden Fleece, which means I am related to a sheepskin rug.
This is why you don't want to think too hard about who you're related to in the Greek myths. It'll drive you crazy. — Rick Riordan

I am sure that all complaints regarding me were initiated from Ukraine. — Yulia Tymoshenko

I made a birdhouse," he said confidently. "And I painted it to look like Hogwarts. — Megan Duke

Sir Henry fixed him with a keen eye.
'Odd name, Tom Skatt - eh?'
'Thats right'
'You don't think we could be related?'
Tom looked up at his great-great-great-uncle and smiled.
'I don't think so'
'No,' grinned Sir Henry no, of course not — Henry Chancellor

It's true; I have a skill and it's ... it has not related to acting, it's not related to auditions, it's not related to studios, not related to public whim. It's whether I'm funny or not and whether I can entertain people. — Tim Allen

I think I started out trying to be very objective about the flow of the play. — James Rado

Did you really just invite Adrian to your room later?" asked Lissa.
Avery shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes we hang out once you guys are all tucked into bed. You aren't going to get jealous, are you?"
"No," laughed Lissa.
"Just curious. Adrian's a good guy."
"Oh?" asked Christian. "Define 'good'." Avery held up her hand and began ticking items off with each finger. "He's devastatingly handsome, funny, rich, related to the queen ... "
"You got your wedding colors picked out?" asked Lissa, still laughing.
"Not yet," said Avery. "I'm still testing the waters. I figured he'd be an easy notch on the Avery Lazar belt, but he's kind of hard to read."
"I really don't want to be hearing this," Christian said. — Richelle Mead

It's funny, but certain faces seem to go in and out of style. You look at old photographs and everybody has a certain look to them, almost as if they're related. Look at pictures from ten years later and you can see that there's a new kind of face starting to predominate, and that the old faces are fading away and vanishing, never to be seen again. — Alan Moore

There is nothing like a good bit of pain for taking the conceit out of one. — Jane Welsh Carlyle

My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend to
repeat them. — Lisa Kleypas

For Mantle, the Yankees' locker room was a sanctuary, a safe haven where he was understood, accepted and, when necessary, exonerated. — Jane Leavy

A dead body is much more fascinating than a live one, and I have learned that most corpses tell better stories. — Alan Bradley

I'm sitting in the bleachers, watching longingly as all the boys and umbumped girls in my Personal Health and Fitness class play Muggle Quidditch. I don't even like the game very much, I think it's silly, but I so miss physical activity that I'd be thrilled if I could run around the gymnasium with a broom between my legs, chasing after the human snitch wearing a gold pinny. — Megan McCafferty

Darker thoughts crowded in during the deepest hours of the night when he woke listening to the secret mystifying sounds of the sleeping palace. Many nights, the king was there. Pleasant, irrelevant, and distracting, he eased Relius past nightmares and self-recrimination. Some nights he said nothing at all, just comforted with his presence. Other nights he related the events of his day, spewing out his insights and analyses of the Attolian court in a devastatingly funny critique. — Megan Whalen Turner

It had been in a Paris house, with many people around, and my dear friend Jules Darboux, wishing to do me a refined aesthetic favor, had touched my sleeve and said, "I want you to meet-" and led me to Nina, who sat in the corner of a couch, her body folded Z-wise, with an ashtray at her heel, and she took a long turquoise cigarette holder from her lips and joyfully, slowly exclaimed, "Well, of all people-" and then all evening my heart felt like breaking, as I passed from group to group with a sticky glass in my fist, now and then looking at her from a distance (she did not look ... ), and listening to scraps of conversation, and overheard one man saying to another, "Funny, how they all smell alike, burnt leaf through whatever perfume they use, those angular dark-haired girls," and as it often happens, a trivial remark related to some unknown topic coiled and clung to one's own intimate recollection, a parasite of its sadness. — Vladimir Nabokov

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman. — Craig Kilborn

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers. — Russell Howard

Humans are most imaginative when they need a means of self-destruction. If the world existed in an overflowing amount of happiness; a utopian state, then the suicide rate would dwarf any extinction level threat. Humans cannot be trusted with their own survival. Their minds have been trained to be blindly and unconsciously subjugated. In a time related to Heaven-on-Earth, the smallest amount of worry, will drive a human into the arms of death. This is how weak and fragile the human mind and will is. It's funny, because the best friend of humanity, is none other than Chaos itself. — Lionel Suggs

They're funny things, legacies are. They can make a person's good-doings extend beyond his or her lifetime, and burden everyone else around who's related to live up to or better it. But they're always very important to maintain to the best of one's ability because that's as close to immortality one can get. — Lauren Lola

Maycomb did not have a paved street until 1935, courtesy of F. D. Roosevelt, and even then it was not exactly a street that was paved. For some reason the President decided that a clearing from the front door of the Maycomb Grammar School to the connecting two ruts adjoining the school property was in need of improvement, it was improved accordingly, resulting in skinned knees and cracked crania for the children and a proclamation from the principal that nobody was to play Pop-the-Whip on the pavement. Thus the seeds of states' rights were sown in the hearts of Jean Louise's generation. — Harper Lee

Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes. — Megan McCafferty

The law should be a shield for the weak and powerless, not a club for the — Roy Barnes

Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet. — Farhan Akhtar

'Sound of My Voice' is an amazing film. Small, simple, yet incredibly thought provoking. — Reid Scott

I love Chekhov. I could go on all day about him. — Tobias Wolff

I guess trick, Delicious. I am flat out of sweetness. — Piper Kerman

Like every Canadian, I have been taught that one of the most important functions of art is to supply and elaborate the myths and narratives of nationhood. — Miriam Toews

Admirable? And she's related to Rey? How come he's such a weasel then?"
"There's a messed up weasel in every family. Look at you." Lex smirked at his brother as he heaved himself off the couch and headed down the hall to the kitchen. He bent to grab a beer from the fridge and tossed one to Cade.
"Ha ha, very funny. Call me Alpha when you say that," Cade growled. — Lauren Dane

There are few things related with us, which are funny for the world but we are proud of them. — Lovely Goyal

The secret of happiness is freedom but to be totally free you need to earn: courage, persistence and boldness. — Santosh Kalwar