Funny Rap Quotes & Sayings

I think it's cool to do stuff in a different language. Basically, I learned English through listening to rap. A lot of people think it's funny. But it's true; I used to try to get the accents. — Wyclef Jean

And when I smiled, 'Bing!' I almost blinded her.
She said, 'Great Scot, are you a thief?
Seems like you have a mouth full of gold teeth!'
Hahahaha, had to find that funny,
So I said, 'No child, I work hard for the money.
And calling me a thief? Please ... don't even try it,
Sit down, eat your slice of pizza, and be quiet.' — Slick Rick

I got a funny feeling like something was real wrong ...
Looked at her shoes and her feets was real long!
Then it hit me, Oh please God no,
Don't let this ho turn out to be a John Doe ...
He pulled a fast one on me, yo! — Fatlip

Funny how things change when you got a liquor in ya:
You're quicker with the tongue, givin' me rhythm now.
Block the music and the people out to admire the love,
The nerve of us ... impervious to the entire club.
And like marijuana shotguns, let's blow this joint,
It's pointless to stay here, so let me anoint. — Pharoahe Monch

It is not against the law to be a nincompoop. If so, I would have a rap sheet as long as my arm. — Sue Ann Jaffarian

It was Saturday night and I was feelin kinda funny,
Gold around my neck, pockets full of money. — Schoolly D

You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor. — Tupac Shakur

With rap, it's a funny thing. You can say things, and people can take 'em the way they wanna take 'em. — Young Jeezy

With freestyling it's not about "Say something funny!" That has nothing to do with it. It's about becoming quicker on your feet and knowing that your entire day can go into your rap if you're on it. — Doseone

It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills. — Tori Spelling

A fast note about Ice-T's autobiography: There's a section where he tells a story about hanging out with Flavor Flav that involves going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari. I suspect the phrase "going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari" is the most accurate description of Flavor Flav anyone will ever come up with. — Shea Serrano

Rappers on their sophomores ... actin' like they boss lords.
Fame's such a funny thing for sure when niggas start believing all those encores. — Pusha T

The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body. — Chris Rock

I listen to a lot of rap where men talk a certain way about women and I'm not offended. It's meant to be funny. I'm throwing it right back at them with humor, but some people can't take it. They're not used to women talking back. — Kesha

It's a funny thing about rap, that when you say 'I' into the microphone, it's like a public confession. It's very strange. — Zadie Smith

Will Smith is a funny person, a very likable person, but at the same time he can be serious and really handle his business. I'll stay away from talking about his rapping abilities, though. — Colin Kaepernick

I love you like a fat kid love cake. — Curtis Jackson

Funny how the love be fake ... but I ain't stressin'.
Thankful for the love that's genuine ... appreciate the blessin'. — Busta Rhymes

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran

Rap music ... sounds like somebody feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper. — Tom Robbins

Luckily for me, I became a rap star so I'm making enough money to support my family. It's funny because that may seem like the only way that I can do such a task. — Joey Badass

Life is a gamble, we scramble for money,
I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny. — Prodigy

It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17. — Dallas Roberts

I used to roll up: this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny.
Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money. — Rakim

If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!" — Chris Rock

A rap at the back door made her jump, and she peered through the window for a long time before she eased open the door a crack. She left the security chain on. 'What do you want, Richard?'
Richard Morrell's police cruiser was parked in the drive. He hadn't flashed any lights or howled any sirens, so she supposed it wasn't an emergency, exactly. But she knew him well enough to know he didn't pay social visits, at least not to the Glass House.
'Good question,' Richard said. 'I guess I want a nice girl who can cook, likes action movies, and looks good in short skirts. But I'll settle for you taking the chain off the door and letting me in. — Rachel Caine

"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing." — Charles Dickens

I think Lafayette wants to rap in French now. I have to go learn some French.
Damn it, Lafayette — Lin-Manuel Miranda