Funny Quotations Quotes & Sayings

Only love will attract love."~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

Ryan, when did you get a girlfriend?" his sister asked.
"She's not my girlfriend, Kaylen," Ryan replied. "Go away. — S. Walden

Quote from In Love of Honey, Money....and My Virgin Passport

If you think you've the most wicked sense of humour, try life! — Mita Jain

Are you afraid of the future? That is funny because future does not exist yet! Future is not even a shadow, because shadow exists! Let go your fear and concentrate on the present time! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

Out of the numbers proceeds that harmony of natural law which it is the aim of science to disclose. We can grasp the tune but not the player. Trinculo might have been referring to modern physics in the words: 'This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody. — Arthur Stanley Eddington

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Why did I become Jackie Chan? Mostly because I work very hard. When people were sleeping, I was still training. — Jackie Chan

My first show was 'The King and I' when I was five. — Chandra Wilson

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all. — Matshona Dhliwayo

By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too? — Eraldo Banovac

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carrying a football. — Matthew D. Heines

Spring, the snow must go; fall, the leaves can't stay. — Marty Rubin

Calm and repose are what he prizes; victory (by force of arms) is to him undesirable. — Lao-Tzu

You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference. — Amit Kalantri

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit.
-Ty Henderson — Madeleine Urban

I remember the will said, 'May God thy gold refine.' That must be from the Bible."
"Shakespeare," Turtle said. All quotations were either from the Bible or Shakespeare. — Ellen Raskin

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. — Amunhotep El Bey

I'm a walking billboard. That's my pleasure. — Isabella Blow

He (Don Drysdale) talks very well for a guy who's had two fingers in his mouth all his life. — Gene Mauch

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death. — Terry Pratchett

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go."

"You just got here."

"Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress."

"You're making that up."

"I'm not."

"So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis? — Rick Riordan

Each generation faces different issues and challenges, but our standard must always be measured by God's word. — Billy Graham

As the nicknames get shorter, people come closer. — Mita Jain

Is it necessary, do you think,' he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, 'for the purpose of visiting your grandmother's childhood home, to dress like a kindergarten whore? — Danielle Wood

Black bears, though, are not fearsome. I encountered one on the road to my house in Vermont, alone at night. I picked up two stones just in case, but I wasn't afraid of him. I felt a hunter's exhilaration and a brotherly feeling. — Edward Hoagland

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt — Laurell K. Hamilton