Funny Piss Taking Quotes & Sayings

One of the near-death experience truths is that each person integrates their near-death experience into their own pre-existing belief system. — Jodi Long

We listen to songs to figure them out, to unravel the mystery of the words and the tune. — David Levithan

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. — Rita Rudner

Our production manager, Rebecca, sews outfits for her cat Jack. I'm not sure why. I guess she was just sitting around one day and thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm forty and single, time Jack had a Peter Pan costume. — David Thorne

The opportunities of America opened out to me the public schools. They carried me to the professional training of an American university. I began by working with my own hands for my daily bread. — Herbert Hoover

The birth of Jesus Christ is a reminder of what Adam and Eve failed to do in the Garden of Eden. — Felix Wantang

Where are you going?" Wesley asked in a semi-sleepy voice.
"Home." I pulled on my jeans. "I've gotta take a shower and get ready for school."
He pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me. His hair was a mess, brown curls falling into his eyes and sticking up in the back. "You can shower here," he offered. "I might even join you if you're lucky. — Kody Keplinger

And as the wind died away I was plunged into the ghoul-pooled darkness of earth's bowels; for behind the last of the creatures the great brazen door clanged shut with a deafening peal of metallic music whose reverberations swelled out to the distant world to hail the rising sun as Memnon hails it from the banks of the Nile. — H.P. Lovecraft

I love to dance, and sing - in the shower, not in public. I'm too old to go raving, but my fondest memories are of that kind of thing - dancing, with lots of people, outside if possible. — Zadie Smith

Sports have always been a big part of my life. At school, I played a lot of different sports, and I was competing with other schools. I did everything: running, volleyball, basketball, soccer, Olympic-style gymnastics, and more! My history with sports gave me good concentration, focus, strength, and motivation to stay healthy. — Izabel Goulart

Americans share an affinity to establish a distinctive identity and know one's self in a physiological, psychological, and spiritual sense, and we strive to attain self-actualization, self-realization, and/or bliss. — Kilroy J. Oldster

God asks the best we have Because He gave the Best He had. — Leonard Ravenhill

It is not lust alone that one should be afraid of in the life of the world. There is also anger. Anger arises when obstacles are placed in the way of desire. — Ramakrishna

Saying it ain't fair, over and over again while you stand in front of a wrecking ball is kinda senseless, I think. — Dan Groat