Funny Peanut Quotes & Sayings

I was build with bassically upon on a code... lie... what's a lie and so on and so on!?

- So I know that you are lieing now, aren't now? — Deyth Banger

You have to track every single thing you eat if you want to keep posting big numbers on the scale each week. — Ali Vincent

We'll not be sending anyone into space before it is safe and the vehicle is well and truly tested. — Richard Branson

Behold the Power of the peanut. His body mass may be small, but his influence is mighty. The last holdout in the Tower has officially fallen to him.
(Said by Pia about the effect her son 'peanut' had on the Sentinel Aryal) — Thea Harrison

I am a tambourine. Don't put me aside
till the fast dancing starts.
Play me some all along.
Help me with these little sounds. — Rumi

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. — Barack Obama

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. — Laurence J. Peter

Language-lovers know that there is a word for every fear. Are you afraid of wine? Then you have oenophobia. Tremulous about train travel? You suffer from siderodromophobia. Having misgivings about your mother-in-law is pentheraphobia, and being petrified of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth is arachibutyrophobia. And then there's Franklin Delano Roosevelt's affliction, the fear of fear itself, or phobophobia. — Steven Pinker

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962. — Rita Rudner

Dubai, with all of its glitz and glamour rose in the heart of the desert. — Soroosh Shahrivar

We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral. — Anthony Jeselnik

When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much. — Bo Burnham

Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast. — Brenda Lochinger

I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! — Mitch Hedberg

When the boys at school found out I had a potentially fatal peanut allergy, they used to hold me up against a wall and play Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels! — Milton Jones

Who can ever measure the benefit of a mother's inspiration? — Charles R. Swindoll

I want you to remember who you are, despite the bad things that are happening to you. Because those bad things aren't you. They are just things that happen to you. You need to accept that who you are and the things that happen you, are not one and the same. — Colleen Hoover

Jose: Do not drop me senor
Jeff:i wont drop you,jose
Jose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floor
Peanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!
Jeff:Thats terrible!
Peanut:not with the right chips its not
Jeff:stop it! im sorry jose
jose:its okay
jeff: okay
Jose:ill kick his ass later
peanut:i'll turn ur ass into guacamole
jeff: stop it!
peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick!
jeff:stop it!
peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!! — Jeff Dunham

Yet in opinions look not always back,
Your wake is nothing, mind the coming track;
Leave what you've done for what you have to do;
Don't be "consistent," but be simply true. — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

any form of expression that ceases to be an experience and becomes an art form loses its glowing divinity — Jo M. Sekimonyo

Too long spent denying each other, we no longer hid our want. — Scarlett Dawn

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?" — Brian Regan

The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation. — Woodrow Wilson