Funny Offering Quotes & Sayings

This is Tez Jones," I said. "He's a police detective from Tampa."
"Oh, my," said Martha, blinking up at him. "Is something wrong?"
"Nope," said Tez, grinning at her and offering a saucy wink. "I'm just the boyfriend."
"Well, then." She sized him up, and nodded."It's about time Elizabeth found someone who deserved her."
"I worship at her dainty feet. — Michele Bardsley

AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote." — Jay Leno

Another reason is that the letters are almost always funny, offering readers the spectacle of some pompous self-celebrator given ample ironic room in which to parade his self-solicited hurt. — Paul Fussell

Looks like we have quite the predicament here, boys." I smile at both of them, then eye the coffee in Breckin's hands. "I see the Mormon brought the queen her offering of coffee. Very impressive."
I look at Holder and cock my eyebrow. "Do you wish to reveal your offering, hopeless boy, so that I may decide who shall accompany me at the classroom throne today?"
Breckin looks at me like I've lost my mind. Holder laughs and picks his backpack up off the desk. "Looks like someone's in need of an ego-shattering text today. — Colleen Hoover

There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones? — Ellen DeGeneres

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags. — Frankie Boyle

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.
Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast.
"What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?
Too harsh? — Molly Harper

Offering Dragons quarter is no good, they regrow all their parts and come on again. They have to be killed. — John Berryman

-What's so funny?"
"-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet."
"-What do you mean, sweet?"
He licked his bottom lip one more time.
"-You taste like honey."
"-Honey?"
"-Yeah, I thought I was going nuts the day ... well, you know, that one day. But it was the same today. Your mouth is really sweet."
He paused for a second, then grinned.
"-Hot like honey-like nectar. That makes more sense."
"-Great. Now I'm going to have to explain that to everyone I kiss for the rest of my life unless it's you or another faerie."
She'd almost said Tamani's name. Her fingers flew to the ring around her neck.
David shrugged.
"-Then don't kiss anyone except me."
"-David ... "
"-I'm just offering up the obvious solution," he said, hands up in protest. — Aprilynne Pike

By the time I'm nine I know the world is a dangerous place. I've heard whispers about razorblades in apples, about Charlie Manson and his family. But no one is offering any clear information. — Nick Flynn

Pleased to meet you." Sage said, offering his hand. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Unless ofcourse, it's all Clea's which is even better."
Sage smiled and might have even blushed a bit, which was highly entertaining. — Hilary Duff