Funny Moist Quotes & Sayings

I was an entertainer, ever since I was a kid. — Micky Dolenz

My dad used to tell me, 'Check the price, son.' Check the price, kids, check the price because there is a price to be paid for whatever you do in life, whether it is good or it is bad. Before you do something, ask yourself is it worth the price you have to pay? — Larry Holmes

I am pleased to say I find nothing funny, sir," Bent replied as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "I have no sense of humor whatsoever. None at all. It has been proven by phrenology. I have Nichtlachen-Keinwortz syndrome, which for some curious reason is considered a lamentable affliction. I, on the other hand, consider it a gift. I am happy to say that I regard the sight of a fat man slipping on a banana skin as nothing more than an unfortunate accident that highlights the need for care in the disposal of household waste." "Have you tried - " Moist began, but Bent held up a hand. "Please! I repeat, I do not regard it as a burden! And may I say it annoys me when people assume it is such! Do not feel impelled to try to make me laugh, sir! If I had no legs, would you try to make me run? I am quite happy, thank you!" He — Terry Pratchett

I have always felt that violence was the last refuge of the incompetent, and empty threats the last sanctuary of the terminally inept. — Neil Gaiman

I love the whole physical thing in films. It keeps me on my toes, it keeps me awake, it keeps me alive. If I'm going to be shooting a movie from 7pm to 7am six nights a week, I best be as physical as possible because then I'll never get tired. Otherwise you sit down, it sounds really weird, but that's the part that wears you out. — Sharni Vinson

You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?"
"Only a man would think of that.
It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will. — Terry Pratchett

The republican is the only form of government which is not eternally at open or secret war with the rights of mankind. — Thomas Jefferson

If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking. — Joe Rogan

If you think that by killing men you can prevent some one from censuring your evil lives, you are mistaken; that is not a way of escape which is either possible or honourable; the easiest and the noblest way is not to be disabling others, but to be improving yourselves. — Bertrand Russell

Revolt by all means, but only on one issue at a time. To do more would be to confuse the whips. — Harold Macmillan

Did I break you?" Bathymaas
"What makes you think that?" Aricles
"Why do you leak so?" Bathymaas
"I don't know. It just does that sometimes." Aricles
"Is it the same as when I grow moist between my legs whenever you're near?" Bathymaas
"I-I suppose it is." Aricles
"Your body is so different from min. Are all men like you?" Bathymaas
"I would assume, but I don't make it a habit of being with naked men, especially when they're aroused." Aricles — Sherrilyn Kenyon

EXTREMELY FUNNY! A SUPER-VIRTUOSO! I expected to enjoy 'The Two and Only,' but I didn't expect to be touched, much less to find my eyes growing moist. — Terry Teachout

There is nothing worse than grilled vegetables. — Julia Child

I'm sort of the comic relief after a hard day at work. My message is that it's OK to relax. — Larry King

Think of something to say. Keep him here. Something funny and interesting and cool.
"I put my wellies on because I was sure it was going to rain and now my feet are getting horribly moist," Ellie said, and it was the single worst thing she'd ever said to anyone. — Sarra Manning