Funny Misread Quotes & Sayings

You are unnerving the hell out of me, Valkyrie."
"oh" she frowned, petting her bat fitfully " I must have misread the future for the past." she shrugged. "It happens. — Kresley Cole

That being said, some of my favorite poets are extremely funny. The aforementioned Matt Rohrer, for instance. Mary Ruefle. James Tate might be the best example of someone who is systematically misread because he can be hilarious. In his poems, as in all great funny poems, the humor is one very appealing version of the surprise and associative movement that is at the heart of all poetry. — Matthew Zapruder

Because you were wearing a badge, customers assumed you were an oracle.
'What aisle is the desiccated coconut'
'How long do you cook a butternut squash?'
'What would you have with a pan fried red mullet?'
'Where can I find the holy grail?' Enough already! Some people obviously misread the 'Here to help' as 'Hello I'm your bitch! — Alan Carr