Funny Liquor Quotes & Sayings

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality. — Al Capone

Funny how things change when you got a liquor in ya:
You're quicker with the tongue, givin' me rhythm now.
Block the music and the people out to admire the love,
The nerve of us ... impervious to the entire club.
And like marijuana shotguns, let's blow this joint,
It's pointless to stay here, so let me anoint. — Pharoahe Monch

Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. — Chris Rock

Real men drink liquor, Reid. Not Coors. And whatever the hell this is." He turned Wyatt's bottle around so he could see the label. "Pabst?"

Wyatt, pulled his beer away from Ash's grasp. "Fuck you. I like PBR just fine."

Ash held up his hands disarmingly. "You know who drinks PBR? Hipsters. And nobody over the age of four. — Sienna Valentine

High school parties exhausted me because I always felt like I was the only thinking person in a room mostly full of morons obliterating precious IQ points with every gulp of whatever booze they managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets. College parties are exhausting in a diametrically opposite way. They are full of smart, funny people who are all used to being the smartest, funniest person in the room, so they spend the whole party talking over one another, overlapping and overtaking the conversation to prove that they are the smartest, funniest person in the room, if not the entire planet. — Megan McCafferty

We should go swimming," Anna says, out of the blue. ( ... )
Danny looks at her like she just suggested knocking over the closest liquor store. Which wouldn't be such a bad idea, on second thought, considering how fast Laney, Seth and Anna are working through the tequila bottle. "Uh sure, if catching pneumonia's your idea of a fun time. I don't want to freeze my balls off. I'm rather attached to them. Literally and figuratively. — Hannah Harrington

Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!! — Ali Shariati

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk. — Mitch Hedberg

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson

Beer ... a high and mighty liquor. — Julius Caesar