Funny Kinky Quotes & Sayings

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass. — Kinky Friedman

Given the final futility of our struggle, is the fleeting jolt of meaning that art gives us valuable? Or is the only value in passing the time as comfortable as possible? What should a story seek to emulate, Augustus? A ringing alarm? A call to arms? A morphine drip? Of course, like all interrogation of the universe, this line of inquiry inevitably reduces us to asking what it means to be human and whether - to borrow a phrase from the angst-encumbered sixteeen-year-olds you no doubt revile - there is a point to it all. — John Green

Matias frowned. Damn, he'd had a vision of this gorgeous woman naked? He hadn't thought he could despise his memory loss any more than he did, but the hits kept on coming. Wait. The blonde had said vision... as in the future? "We're fated to have sex?"
"No!" Quinn shook her head so quickly and vehemently that her teeth all but rattled.
"You sure? You can't seem to stay away from me." He looked down at their close proximity.
"I knew I should have left you to rot in the psych ward strapped to that bed."
Matias frowned. He was having a hard time keeping up with the conversation. "Kinky. Or is that another dream you had starring yours truly? — Jane Cousins

This time, try to keep your hands to yourself," Ayden whispered in my ear. "Your octopus routine could get a bit embarrassing with this crowd."
"Th - that's not funny."
"Come on. It was a little funny. You're smiling."
I buried my face in his chest so he couldn't see he was right.
"Now," Blake said, "about those handcuffs. That's just - "
"Don't say it," Ayden warned.
"Kinky. — A&E Kirk

It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back and talk over our darkly sordid, slightly kinky, and a lot warped relationship. Face it, you're stuck with me. — Kylie Scott

First, I'm going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone."
"Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches," I said, grinning. — Kyle Adams

Now I really feel sorry for her. Your hand is as bad as Rob's paddle," Cassie shuddered.
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean it as a compliment! — Breanna Hayse

Eyes mark the shape of the city. — Haruki Murakami

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. — Kinky Friedman

Writing isn't just on the page; it's voices in the reader's head. Read what you write out loud to someone-anyone-and you will catch all kinds of things. — Donna Jo Napoli

There are some songs that don't belong to The Animals that I refuse to give in to and not do. I enjoy singing other people's songs, you know. That's why they're written in the first place. — Eric Burdon

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. — Kinky Friedman

Intelligence is an interesting word. It is also something which, in my opinion, is misunderstood by many people. There are those who believe that we go to school to become intelligent. Or, the more experience a person has on a particular job, the more intelligent they become. This notion is not so. All knowledge is one hundred percent evenly present in all places, at all times. Aware is what you and I want to become. The more aware we become of this truth about intelligence, the better off we will be. — Bob Proctor

Stevie: "If you think he's a lecher and all men are disgusting, why do you want me to date?"
Zena: "Because, Stevie. Now and then, when the moon is full and bluish, when the galaxy is all calm and peaceful and serenity rules and even the falling stars are falling gracefully, and the wind creates a beautiful song, that's when you find one outstanding man. Kind. Loyal. Funny and smart, great in bed but not kinky. A lover in his head and in his body. A man who doesn't think as a dick-obsessed monkey with a brain the size of a testicle, but one who is thoughtful and can hold his emotions in one hand and hug you close with the other. A man who is a hunky, manly man but who can talk to you like your best girlfriend, because that's what he wants to be for you. Your best friend."
(Page 44) — Cathy Lamb

In school, nobody could pronounce my name. They just called me Rocky. — Raquel Welch

Barefoot and pregnant. After the ruckus last night, I suppose I wouldn't be all that shocked if you managed it," Elijah muttered as Stunt passed him.

Stunt was officially in hell. It was like getting caught by his parents having sex. Worse...kinky sex. — Lyn Gala

Learning cannot be disassociated from action. — Peter Senge