Funny Jim Beam Quotes & Sayings

Writing an honest blog is how you unlive your life. — Chuck Palahniuk

Jesus, Martin, what the hell do I pay you for?"
"My good looks, the occasional blow job, and my constant supply of Jim Beam."
"You've never given me a blow job."
"True, but you've fantasized about it. — Adrienne Wilder

Behavior speaks ... I need not listen to someone's apology; I'll watch for it. I've learned not to let someone's words blind me from their behavior. — Steve Maraboli

The kind of system Kickstarter uses has been used for hundreds of years. Unlike Medici-style patronage, where the richest people in town give large amounts of money, Kickstarter's system relies on the general public for funding projects, and rewards those backers. — Perry Chen

Whereas science elicits changes in order to know, technology knows in order to elicit changes. — Mario Bunge

I want you to be my family now, for us to be a family together. — Melanie Dickerson

Supermom wasn't a bad job description. The pay was lousy if you were talking about real money. But the payoff was priceless in so many other ways. — Roxanne Henke

No battle is worth fighting except the last one. — Enoch Powell

Sometimes on late summer nights, when the sky is perfect and our parents are in a good enough mood to let us, we meet up to take a midnight walk through the field beyond our houses. It's always peaceful and quiet, a perfect time to stargaze into the velvety black sky dotted with millions of crystals that make up the Milky Way. The warm summer night's breeze ripples the tall grass and makes a small brushing sound that echoes throughout the valley. In the distance, the Appalachian Mountains loom like giant gray ghosts cast in the silvery glow of the midnight Moon. They wrap around our little valley like a scarf, and the hollers that seem close in the daytime seem like a lifetime away in the dark. We become engulfed by the thousands of fireflies that dance around in the steamy mist that radiates off of the ground because of the humidity. Those are the beautiful midsummer nights in Valia Springs that I will never forget. — Jacquelyn Eubanks

We hold each other hostage to our eccentricities." I smiled again, an unseen smile. "We're made for each other. — Dean Koontz