Funny Inspirational Life Quotes & Sayings

They told me that nothing was a sin, just a poor life choice. Poor impulse control. That nothing is evil. Any concept of right versus wrong, according to them, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. They said that if anything should force us to modify our personal behavior it should be our allegiance to a social contract, not some vague, externally imposed threat of flaming punishment. — Chuck Palahniuk

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven. — Fakeer Ishavardas

The recipe for great art has always been misery and a good bowel movement. — Don Roff

Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life. — Vita Sackville-West

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. — Sandra Chami Kassis

Life is strange and funny with many winding roads ahead ... but the roads of greed and hypocrisy will lead to a person's downfall each and every time. — Timothy Pina

Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life. — Dennis Conner

Not everything's funny, Mother."
"No," said Leola, "so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter. — Lorna Landvik

Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up. — Robert Breault

I hold together pretty well, considering how much my atoms have been through. — Andrew Smith

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

If you're lucky, in some point in the future when you're in need of guidance or perhaps moral support, you may cross paths with a suitable mentor. Even luckier, you'll realize you had one in your life all along and you'll gain a new appreciation for how you benefited from that relationship. The luckiest relationship of all, of course, is a combination of the two. You've had help all along, and as the path widens or narrows, whatever the case may be, new and powerful influences will enter your life and aid your progress. In my experience, a mentor doesn't necessarily tell you what to do, but more importantly: tells you what they did or might do, then trusts you to draw your own conclusions and act accordingly. If you succeed, they'll take one step back and if you fail, they'll take one step closer. Whatever it is they teach you, pass it on. — Michael J. Fox

Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience. — Bob Packwood

Life at times is a bunch of crap, the nice part about crap is that it's biodegradable. — Kyle Johnson

Your kids pissing you off is an inborn instinct. It's nature's way of getting you to kick them out when they turn 18!
Okaaay. ~sigh~ Due to the times, you can kick them out between the ages of 28-38. Can someone please dramatically reduce the cost of housing, already?
~SHEESH~ — Dakota Dawn

Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are as full as they can be. We shouldn't waste time on things that might happen someday, or maybe even never. — Colleen Hoover

Love's a funny thing, especially with a man who gets paid to put junk in other people's slots. (The Mail Man) — Andrew Sturm

I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for? — Stephanie Lennox

All things come to those who wait, — Violet Fane

The state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting. — Plutarch

Never give up on your aspirations. Sometimes life is funny and can get in the way with simple distractions, but don't let that stop you. If you have a dream, then go for it. You have the power to make it manifest itself into something fantastic, so mesmerizing that it has the possibility to astonish even the most daring of minds. Dream on and make it a reality. — Sheila Renee Parker

I can write about all of these bizarre and funny characters in my book, "Diggin' Elroy," because I know them better than anyone else. I have a little bit of all of them in me. — Walt Griffin

I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick. — Karen Salmansohn

Don't take life too seriously. — RuPaul

All too often we fail to see the good in a difficult situation. Our minds are wired in such a funny way that we tend to believe just because a door closed it must be a bad thing. — Lindsey Rietzsch

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back. — Sandra Chami Kassis

Life is about more that quotes about life — John Chaplin

Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child. — Anthony Horowitz

Possibility of enjoying life makes death feel terrible. — Santosh Kalwar

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. — Kinky Friedman

Wise is the fool who becomes a master at laughter. — Curtis Tyrone Jones

My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That's enough, I myself choose my way — Ali Shariati

Grief is a funny thing because you don't have to carry it with you for the rest of your life. After a bit you set it down by the roadside and walk on and leave it. — Rosamunde Pilcher

It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us. — Curtis Tyrone Jones

don't just listen to people crying, hear the reasons why they cry — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

People come back from flights and tell you a story like it's a horror story. That's how bad they make it sound. They're like, 'It was the worst day of my life. We didn't board for 20 minutes and they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes.' Oh really? What happened next? Did you fly in the air, incredibly, like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight you non-contributing zero?' — Louis C.K.

Time is a funny thing, it can give and it can take away; and a single moment in time can truly change one's life forever!
The best kind of love is unexpected, unexplainable, undeniable, and unimaginable.
Your sweet scent will forever be with me, reminding me of the love we once shared. I will breathe in the memories until we meet again.
Before you act on what you have been told, consider your source. It may simply be assumption on their part, and that can be far from fact.
Why stand back and wait for someone to fail when you can stand up and offer your support?
Love is when the sound of your partner's snoring lulls you to sleep, and it acts as a reminder that they are there by your side.
Building a wall around your heart is a voluntary imprisonment to which only you have the key. Open your heart to life's possibilities! — Donna L. Jones

Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone. — Zayn Malik

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin

Listen - life is really going on, right now, around us. Do you see it? Sometimes I lose it but if I sit still and listen, it comes back, and then I think, How funny, this is what being alive is. — Robin Morgan

With faith anything can be solved — NightBits

If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live. — Shannon L. Alder

It's funny how life moves in a complete circle sometimes. There might be lots of bumps in the road and maybe even a few cliffs, but it's a journey, and sometimes it can bring you to the most wonderful places. — Nyrae Dawn

The movement of life has to rest in its own music. — Rabindranath Tagore

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. — Antonio Porchia

Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness. — Vijay Balakrishnan

There is a story I always tell my students ... when I came for the 1st time to the US. I didn't speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word "exit" which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :"No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they open leads to success — Pablo

The poor Sufi dressed in rags walked into a jewelry store owned by a rich merchant and asked him, "Do you know how you're going to die." And the Sufi said, "I do.""How?" asked the merchant.
And the Sufi lay down, crossed his arms, said, "Like this," and died, whereupon the merchant promptly gave up his store to live a life of poverty in pursuit of the kind of spiritual wealth the dead Sufi had acquired. — John Green

I don't want to hear what anyone has to say about my life. Living it is hard enough. — C.D. Reiss

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed. — Aaron Swartz

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. — Rita Rudner

Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul. — Dean Koontz

The art of living. Isn't that a funny expression? — Anne Frank

To truly fail in life is to never try. When you fall on your face, it is an opportunity for you to find the road again. It may remind you how hard the road is, but you will never forget its presence once you make contact. — H.L. Stephens

It's funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish. — Steve Maraboli

[Writing about themselves] gives them wings, so that they can rise above the confounding maze of their lives and, from that perspective, begin to see the patterns and dead ends of their pasts, and a way out. That's the funny thing about mazes; what's baffling on the ground begins to make sense when you can begin to rise above it, the better to understand your history and fix yourself. — Wally Lamb

Funny to think that every day you have ever lived is a yesterday, and you will never live one single tomorrow. But then again, every day is a today when you're living it. — Mik Everett

The world, every day, is New. Only for those born in, say, 1870 or so, can there be a meaningful use of the term postmodernism, because for the rest of us we are born and we see and from what we see and digest we remake our world. And to understand it we do not need to label it, categorize it. These labels are slothful and dismissive, and so contradict what we already know about the world, and our daily lives. We know that in each day, we laugh, and we are serious. We do both, in the same day, every day. But in our art we expect clear distinction between the two ... But we don't label our days Serious Days or Humorous Days. We know that each day contains endless nuances - if written would contain dozens of disparate passages, funny ones, sad ones, poignant ones, brutal ones, the terrifying and the cuddly. But we are often loathe to allow this in our art. And that is too bad ... — Dave Eggers

Nothing's changed my life more. I feel better about myself as a person, being conscious and responsible for my actions and I lost weight and my skin cleared up and I got bright eyes and I just became stronger and healthier and happier. Can't think of anything better in the world to be but be vegan. — Alicia Silverstone

Life is as precious to us as it is for an animal. An animal is as loving, caring, and kind to her children as we are. She might not be able to tell us but she can express it through her eyes and expressions. She feels joy and happiness. She is helpless in our cruel hands and vulnerable to our vicious greed. Let us be kind to animals. Let us learn to feel their pain. Can we kill a helpless baby to feed our greed? Then how can we kill helpless animal friends that can't talk? Often we kill just for fun. How funny would it be if an animal killed a human just for fun? Let us be kind to animals as much as possible. I know we can. It is easier to love an animal than a human being. If you love an animal, it will rarely hurt you. Let us practice kindness and compassion to animals so that we may create a peaceful world. — Debasish Mridha

What doesn't kill you makes you CRAZY, GRUMPY, MAD AS EVER? NO it makes you STRONGER! Yep,you'll get there eventually! — Karen Gibbs

Isn't it funny how the moments that define our lives the most are almost always the smallest? A scattering of almost inconsequential seconds that steer our course; the proverbial butterfly wings which produce the hurricane of our lives. Single sentences, concepts, and choices-especially choices-which make or break who you are, and who you will become. — Brandon M. Herbert

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party! — Ron White

You mean to tell me, you believe that Jesus was born by Mary without having sex? You believe that Jesus walked on water, he turned water into wine. You believe he made a blind man see, and made a dead man come back to life? This is funny, you believe that Jesus died on a cross and three days later came back to life, then moved a big rock to free himself. You believe THAT!!! But you can't believe in yourself??? When all he did was for you to believe. — Vincent Edwards

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. — Thomas Paine

Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries. — Everett Dirksen

I'd rather live my life believing in God to die and see there is one. Because if there isn't one, it means there's no eternal life, therefore I will never know. — Sandra Chami Kassis

Never abandon your dreams. You may regret it for the rest of your life. — Fabiola Gianotti

Sometimes I feel that the only concept of fairness in our society is creams like fair & lovely or fair & handsome. — Jeroninio Almeida

If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke. — Chandan Sharma

Simple answers to the most difficult questions:

1. Why do humans find it difficult to express themselves?

To relate to the movies and books, later.


2. Why do humans make everything look so big, beautiful & complicated?

Ego feels good.


3. Why do humans want to protect the nature?

Because they can't even protect themselves. Moreover, they are guilty conscious.


4. What is romance?

It is complicated as far as humans are concerned.


5. What is love?

The complicated part of the fourth question.


6. What is unconditional love?

Not there yet.


7. Who is God?

Sixth leads you to the seventh.


8. Who am I?

Ask yourself.


9. What is loneliness?

Potential energy wasted on learned answers.


10. What is happiness?

All of the above. — Saurabh Sharma

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. — William Goldman

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says Oh, no! She's up. — Joanne Clancy

When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you. — Werley Nortreus

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death — Confucius

I wanted to thank you," I said.
She wrinkled her nose and squinted like I'd said something funny. "Thank me for what?" she said.
"You give me strength I didn't know I had,"; I said. "You make me better. — Ransom Riggs