Funny Infomercial Quotes & Sayings

I wonder about my sister Janelle, too, who does know and wrote me this email - this long, long email that I had to close and not look at, because the first paragraph contained the words 'I forgive you', and I don't want anyone's forgiveness.

I'm not the one who has to be forgiven. — Robin York

'Benedict' means 'blessed.' My parents liked the sound of the name and felt slightly blessed because they'd been trying for a child for a very long time. — Benedict Cumberbatch

Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don't know. I got a telegram from the home: 'Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Faithfully yours.' That doesn't mean anything. Maybe it was yesterday. — Albert Camus

She sees me approaching and ushers me over, apparently with the belief I can help her cause. "What's going on, Gran?" I ask. "These young men here seem to think I'm not cut out for a keg stand," she huffs indignantly. "Wally, what do you think? Do you think it's my age? — Ali Dean

I am very averse to bringing myself forward in print, but as my account will only appear as an appendage to a former production, and as it will be confined to such topics as have connection with my authorship alone, I can hardly accuse myself of a personal intrusion. — Mary Shelley

If you spend too much time watching and fantasizing others while they achieve their dreams you may well miss your own. — Randall Wright

That's the dream. Being on the U.S. National team and winning the World Cup. I'll take the win anyway I can get it. — Freddy Adu