Funny Happy Birthday Quotes & Sayings

We might laugh at the notion of plastic tea sets in the jungle, but it is a time-honored ritual for Western travelers to collect preindustrial artifacts to use as home decorations...Possession of primitive artifacts suggests worldly knowledge, just as in the highland communities of Borneo an electronic wristwatch that plays "Happy Birthday" is the mark of a great traveler. Funny thing how travel can narrow the mind. — Eric Hansen

I want to figure out how people can go on with their lives when mine has changed so much. I want to relearn how to breathe without carrying this big, empty cave inside me. — Edwidge Danticat

As my dad said, you have an obligation to leave the world better than how you found it. And he also reminded us to be givers in this life, and not takers. — Phil Crane

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. — Will Rogers

The question of what exactly we remember when we listen to old recordings, or whether it can be called remembering at all, becomes less and less answerable over a lifetime. — Geoffrey O'Brien

They believe that a good intention already means a new beginning; they believe that on their own they can make a new start whenever they want. But that is an evil illusion: only God can make a new beginning with people whenever God pleases, but not people with God. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer

If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry! — Ellen DeGeneres

When we're trying to solve difficult national issues its sometimes necessary to talk to adversaries as well as friends. Historians have a word for this: diplomacy. — Madeleine Albright

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.' — Bob Hope

Act your age, not your shoe size. — Prince

I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone. — Sylvia Plath

Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!

Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal

For they have always unanimously maintained that nature, rather the Creator Himself, has given man the right of private ownership not only that individuals may be able to provide for themselves and their families but also that the goods which the Creator destined for the entire family of mankind may through this institution truly serve this purpose. — Pope Pius XI

If I'm going to break them, I'm going to break them both. — Lawrence Taylor

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. — Robert Orben

I was one of the first to use the online medium as a way to talk about celebrity news in as close to real time as possible ... I was lucky to be one of the first. I also worked hard, and put in the hours - probably 16 to 17 a day. — Perez Hilton

On a certain day shall every soul come to plead for itself, and every soul shall be repaid according to its deeds; and they shall not be wronged. — Elijah Muhammad

I think a lot of the national Democrats believe that, you know, Iraq is a distraction and not part of the War on Terror. They've said so. And I strongly disagree. — George W. Bush

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" — Jimmy Carr

Always remember: If you're alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who's going to know? — Julia Child

Throw off those chains of reason and your prison disappears. — Neil Peart

If there was one thing worse than being cheated, it was being cheated by someone who referred to themselves in the third person. — Chris Wooding

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday. — Ralph Kiner

You have to see, kid by kid, what their needs are and what kind of parent you need to be for them. — Bryce Dallas Howard