Funny Grown Ups Quotes & Sayings

Washington's address is virtually unknown today and has not been seen in most American history textbooks in nearly four decades. Perhaps it is because of all the religious warnings Washington made in his 'Farewell Address.' — David Barton

I feel you not only on Valentine's day but with every breath of everyday. — Debasish Mridha

There aren't many funny bits in Mr Tolkien either,' Matilda said.
'Do you think that all children's books ought to have funny bits in them?' Miss Honey asked.
'I do,' Matilda said. 'Children are not so serious as grown-ups and love to laugh. — Roald Dahl

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. — Oliver Markus

The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer. — Bill Rancic

The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the 1950s.") — Scott Stossel

In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy, a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way. — Celia Green

Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child. — Anthony Horowitz

As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday. — Garrison Keillor

she was afraid, as much of the great pillared hall and the roof of stone as of the company of many eyes that watched her. And when Thingol bade her speak, she said: 'Lord, I was sitting in a tree'; but then she faltered in awe of the King, and could say no more. At that the King smiled, and said: 'Others have done this also, but have felt no need to tell me of it. — J.R.R. Tolkien

Parents get all focused on themselves, and they see their little babies start walkin' and talkin', and since they kinda look like them and sound like the, they start thinking of those little babies as themselves....And then something funny happens. Those babies grow up to be kids and teenages and grown-ups in their own right....so everything the kids do, everything, is a betrayal. — Barry Lyga

You can die for your country. I'll live for mine. — Matthew Axelson

He wasn't a complete human being at all. He was a tiny bit of one, unnaturally developed; something in a bottle, an organ kept alive in a laboratory. I thought he was a sort of primitive savage, but he was something absolutely modern and up-to-date that only this ghastly age could produce. A tiny bit of a man pretending to be whole. — Evelyn Waugh

I - obviously, I'm not a big fan of President Obama. I think he's been one of our weakest presidents. I just fundamentally disagree with him philosophically. — Dick Cheney

Truth, naked, unblushing truth, the first virtue of all serious history, must be the sole recommendation of this personal narrative. — Edward Gibbon

He who makes God act humanly, declares human activity to be divine[.] — Ludwig Feuerbach

Summary of the Rich Habits Promises: I WILL form good daily habits and follow these good daily habits each and every day. I WILL set goals for each day, for each month, for each year and for the long-term; I WILL focus on my goals each and every day. I WILL engage in self-improvement each and every day. I WILL devote part of each and every day in caring for my health. I WILL devote part of each and every day to forming lifelong relationships. I WILL live each and every day in a state of moderation. I WILL accomplish my daily tasks each and every day; I will adopt a "DO IT NOW" mindset. I WILL engage in rich thinking each and every day. I WILL save ten percent of my gross income every paycheck. I WILL control my thoughts and emotions each and every day. — Thomas C. Corley