Funny Garbage Quotes & Sayings

In 'Sidney's Comet,' thanks to all the consumerism, all the garbage had to be put in deep space, even though we're not supposed to litter the cosmos - that was an environmental message. Although it was funny, it had an important message. — Brian Herbert

Marathon tidying produces a heap of garbage. At this stage, the one disaster that can wreak more havoc than an earthquake is the entrance of that recycling expert who goes by the alias of "mother. — Marie Kondo

Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with. — Daniel Tosh

... MOM!" Martha finally screamed. "Mom, you've got to see these!"
"Is it about Hermione?" She exclaimed, rushing into the middle of the room. Her mouth dropped open in horror when she noticed Hermione's walls.
"I can't find any ... polite ... photos of her, mom."
"Why are there ones of her eating out of dumpsters and giving seniors the finger?"
"No idea," Martha replied.
"Oh god ... I'll get one out of my wallet," Her mom decided, hurrying out of the room frantically.
... It's funny how when one thing happens, it can make you forget about something else. — Rebecca McNutt

It's funny, isn't it, what will make you break? Your lover moves to London and falls in love with a news reader for the BBC and you feel fine and then one day you raise your umbrella slightly to cross Fifty-seventh Street and stare into the Burberry shop and begin to sob. Or your baby dies at birth and five years later, in an antique store, a small battered silver rattle with teeth marks in one end engraved with the name Emily lies on a square of velvet, and the sobs escape from the genie's bottle somewhere deep in your gut where they've lain low until then. Or the garbage bag breaks. — Anna Quindlen

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad. — Janette Barber

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage. — Mitch Hedberg

Have they built cities on the moon?" another boy asked hopefully.
"We left some garbage and a flag there in the sixties, but thats about it. — Ransom Riggs

She committed suicide by putting her extremities down the garbage disposal-first one arm and then, kind of miraculously if you think about it, the other arm. — David Foster Wallace

The issue of who will throw the garbage won't be so trivial when no one is throwing it away, and it starts to stink. When the plates pile up in the kitchen sink, or when the bathroom is grimy and the shampoo ran out. No, it won't be funny then. — Eeva Lancaster

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out". — Rodney Dangerfield

What you don't even realize now - what you will only come to understand in time, but lucky for you, I'm here to tell you - is you're not going to give two shits about this band in a few years. In fact, I guarantee that this group that you admire so much and that you are putting all of your love and dedication and devotion into will be nothing more than an obsession you will be immensely embarrassed of having had. One day you'll be in college, maybe you'll be at a party, and someone will say, 'Hey, do you remember The Ruperts? How shitty was their music?' and you will have a moment of crisis: Do you admit your former love for them, or do you concede, because you know in your heart that this person is right? And guess what you'll say? You'll say, 'Yeah, their music was utter. Putrid.Garbage. — Goldy Moldavsky

Goddamn golf shirts and gym memberships and fake muscles and tans and cell phones and new cars. Trevor didn't care about any of that garbage. All he wanted was a garden. Isn't that funny? — Nickolas Butler

I've written for the waste basket so often that we've become friends. He writes too, but it's mostly garbage. — Ryan Lilly

When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use my body as an organic garbage disposal? — Nash Summers

This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan. — Dave Barry

I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze? — Daniel Tosh

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" — Henny Youngman