Famous Quotes & Sayings

Funny Fortune Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny Fortune Quotes

Funny Fortune Quotes By Lisa Kleypas

You ignorant whelp. You dare to warn me away from her? I created her. Without my influence, Charlotte would be a bovine in the country with a half-dozen children at her skirts ... or spreading her legs for every man who dropped a coin between her breasts. I've spent a fortune to make her into something far better than she was ever meant to be."
"Why don't you send me a bill?"
"It would beggar you," Radnor assured him with raw contempt.
"Send it anyway," Nick invited gently. "I'll be interested to learn the cost of creating someone. — Lisa Kleypas

Funny Fortune Quotes By Anne Gracie

Gideon could not imagine any other young unmarried woman of his acquaintance passing up the opportunity to snare, if not himself, then the Carradice fortune. In any case, the number of women who'd rejected him in any way was gratifyingly small. Yet Miss Prudence Merridew had most unmistakably rejected him. Several times. Wielding that damned lethal reticule like a little Amazon, to emphasize her point. — Anne Gracie

Funny Fortune Quotes By Confucius

Man is born for uprightness. If a man lose his uprightness and yet live, his escape from death is mere good fortune. — Confucius

Funny Fortune Quotes By Laurell K. Hamilton

I look like a biker slut from hell meets soldier of fortune pinup. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Funny Fortune Quotes By Armistead Maupin

Thack seemed to sort something out for a moment.
"Sometimes I watch him when he's playing with Harry or digging in the yard. And I think: This is it, this is the guy I've waited for all my life. Then this other voice tells me not to get used to it, that it'll only hurt more later. It's funny. You're feeling this enormous good fortune and waiting for it to be over at the same time."
"You seem happy," Brian ventured.
"I am."
"Well ... that's a lot. I envy you that."
Thack shrugged. "All we've got is now, I guess. But that's all anybody gets. If we wasted that time being scared ... "
"Absolutely. — Armistead Maupin

Funny Fortune Quotes By E.A. Bucchianeri

Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... — E.A. Bucchianeri

Funny Fortune Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner." — P. J. O'Rourke

Funny Fortune Quotes By Hiroko Sakai

I love fortune readings! because when I get in troubles, if the reading says that I am in a lucky day, I can think my troubles are just some kind of mistakes, and if the reading says that I am in the unlucky day, I can think that my troubles are just because of my bad luck. Either ways, I can know the reason of my troubles. — Hiroko Sakai

Funny Fortune Quotes By Rose Wynters

Oh, girl! He's got a big one," the fortune teller exclaimed, her dark eyes briefly flickering up to Violet's face before returning back to the cards spread out in front of her. She paused for a moment as she studied them, her pointer finger tapping against her jaw. Finally, she added, "Just like a summer sausage, and I'm not talking about the snack-sized ones. And it's attached to a body that could put Dwayne Johnson to shame. What women could resist a package like that? I'd say the future is definitely going to be bright ... at least for you. — Rose Wynters

Funny Fortune Quotes By Francois De La Rochefoucauld

The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune. — Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Funny Fortune Quotes By Theresa Paolo

If only there was mouthwash for the brain. Brain wash. They could make a fortune on that stuff. — Theresa Paolo

Funny Fortune Quotes By C.S. Forester

I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant. — C.S. Forester

Funny Fortune Quotes By Josh Lieb

According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free. — Josh Lieb

Funny Fortune Quotes By Thomas McGuane

It's funny, but ... you're sort of a moving target for fortune, and you never know when it will befall you. — Thomas McGuane