Funny Flowers Quotes & Sayings

The door opened, held by the butler, and Lord Montagu swept into the room, his presence overwhelming the space. She could swear even the flowers in their vases perked up and listed in his direction. Honest to Pete. — Angela Quarles

I imbue this place with my essence, every stone and every drop. My visit will do wonders for the flowers."
Aly propped her chin on her hand. "So does manure," she observed. — Tamora Pierce

Could I pick some flowers for Miranda?' I asked.
'You cannot take these flowers,' said Zoran. 'They belong to the government. — Doug MacLeod

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone's belongings strewn all over the landing with a note attached to a jacket lapel addressed to "A lying liar who lies." Right now there was a bouquet of flowers taped to the door with a card tucked among the blooms that read I'M SORRY. That was the thing about New York: you always knew more about your neighbors' business than you wanted to. — Cassandra Clare

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me 'Little Pecker' while you're at it and tell me you would love to have me go shopping with you for feminine hygiene products. Oh and by all means, carry a big, sparkling pink bag with flowers on it and make me hold it. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. — Mercedes McCambridge

Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick. — Nicole McKay

Tropical trees had been planted throughout the room, along with bright flowering plants that were busy committing the olfactory floral equivalent of aggravated assault. — Jim Butcher

said "let's send that fuckin' Flowers up there. He hasn't done anything for us lately."
"He's off today," somebody said.
Davenport said, "So what? — John Sandford

Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there. — Andy Richter

A man should be more original than a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. Flowers die and sugar sticks to your hips like a permanent record to a criminal. — Dannika Dark

I pondered what else I should take for him. Flowers seemed wrong; they're a love token, after all. I looked in the fridge, and popped a packet of cheese slices into the bag. All men like cheese. — Gail Honeyman

Mahler wrote it as the third movement of his Fourth Symphony. I mean the fourth movement of his First Symphony. We play it third. The trumpet solo will be played by our solo trumpet player. It's named 'Blumine,' which has something to do with flowers. — Eugene Ormandy

No one should have to walk down a church aisle with a bouquet of flowers unless she was the bride, already had been the bride, or was too young to be the bride. Otherwise, it was just cruel. — Julia Quinn

I sometimes think drivers don't know what grass is, or flowers, because they never see them slowly," she said. "If you showed a driver a green blur, Oh yes! he'd say, that's grass! A pink blur? That's a rose-garden! White blurs are houses. Brown blurs are cows. My uncle drove slowly on a highway once. He drove forty miles an hour and they jailed him for two days. Isn't that funny, and sad, too? — Ray Bradbury

It's funny how these days, when every household has its own inter-continental ballistic missile, you hardly even think about them ... A lot of us, though, have started painting the missiles different colors, even decorating them with our own designs, like butterflies or stenciled flowers. They take up so much space in the backyard, they might as well look nice, and the government leaflets don't say that you have to use the paint they supply. — Shaun Tan

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey

San Francisco has a flowers-in-your-hair kind of vibe, while Chicago's got this very funny, big-city/small-town coolness to it. — Dave Matthews

The conversation, as usual, switched back to sex.
"It's difficult with you sometimes though, babe," Dominic said to Bronagh. "I'm constantly torn between wanting to fucking destroy you, but I also want to bring you flowers and chocolates and treat you like a princess."
Bro, TMI!
Bronagh didn't bat an eyelid. "Why not do both?"
Sis, TMI!
"That right there," Dominic snapped his fingers, "that's why I love you — L.A. Casey

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like ... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun ... that was nice ... the sun.. — Emo Philips

Many trees were pulled out of the ground with their roots crying for water."
The lake was all polluted with thick layers of grease,the grass & flowers were squashed, animals walked around. #kidsbooks "Mikolay & Julia"
Total elocological destruction,said Mikolay trying to use one of the funny long words Julia was always using.
These are not monsters Farina.These are people and building machines. — Magda M. Olchawska

I don't accept flowers. I take nothing perishable. — Paulette Goddard

But the three hundred and sixty-five authors who try to write new fairy tales are very tiresome. They always begin with a little boy or girl who goes out and meets the fairies of polyanthuses and gardenias and apple blossoms: 'Flowers and fruits, and other winged things.' These fairies try to be funny, and fail; or they try to preach, and succeed. — Andrew Lang