Funny Drunkenness Quotes & Sayings

I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side. — Mark Twain

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room. — Richard Kadrey

Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.


-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain — Ashley Jade

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

I'm not much for parties. Sometimes you have to wear a funny hat, sometimes they expect you to eat sushi, which is like eating bait. And there's always some totally drunk girl who thinks you're smitten by her, when what you're really wondering is if she'll vomit on your shirt or instead on your shoes. — Dean Koontz