Funny Do Not Disturb Quotes & Sayings

I love to read about the exploits of technical mountain climbers, but I've never done any vertical climbing. — Will Hobbs

Oh, talking is not so bad as that," said the Jester. "True, most people say only silly things when they speak. But it's easier to ignore them if you're saying silly things yourself. — Pseudonymous Bosch

There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. — Judy Gold

I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!" — Mitch Hedberg

Freedom in a democracy is the glory of the state, and, therefore, in a democracy only will the freeman of nature deign to dwell. — Plato

I think how there are fault lines in men as old and uncharted as the earth itself. Made known just before the ground starts separating and by then it's too late. — Ashley Warlick

I have my own people that make my clothes because it's hard for me to find stuff that fits. — Calvin Johnson

Dont disturb my circles! — Archimedes

I will give them a heart to know that I am The Lord." Jeremiah 24:7 He gives it at new birth, then again and again. — John Piper

Organizing one's life to respond to a threat one felt powerless about as a child can be a source of enormous inspiration. — Linda Austin

Opening her eyes, Eva placed her palm in the center of William's chest. "You're next." With her wee push, he obliged her and sat on the edge of the bed. Kneeling, she untied his shoes and removed his hose. When she stood, William had already untied the lace of the arming doublet he wore atop his shirt. Eva held up her finger. "Tsk, tsk. You don't want to spoil my fun do you?"
He shrugged out of the doublet with a look of defiance. "It canna hurt to help a bit."
"Come here." She pulled him up by the cord of his chausses. Fingers working quickly, she untied them and his braies, and let them drop to the floor. Then, with a sultry giggle, she slowly tugged the tie on his linen shirt, staring at his eyes while she tortured him, pulling oh so very slowly. "This bit of linen is all that's left between us, William."
He growled though straight white teeth. "And it will be torn to shreds if ye dunna haste to rip it from my torrid flesh. — Amy Jarecki

I have a dream.
And in this dream I'm under the covers in bed, just a few scant inches away from Carter's body. I stare at his prone form lying next to me, the greenish-blue glow from the alarm clock on the bedside table providing just enough illumination for me to see the shallow rise and fall of his chest. The sheet is draped low over his hips as he sleeps peacefully with one arm flung over his eyes and the other resting on his taut, naked stomach. I slide my body ever so slowly across the bed, careful not to disturb him, until I'm so close I can feel the heat from his skin warming me from head to toe. I pull my arms out from under the sheet and my hands reach out towards him. I connect with his smooth, muscular chest, slide my fingers up his body, and ... choke the ever living shit out of him. — Tara Sivec

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction. — Mitch Hedberg

Science can give us power over nature, but it cannot give us power over human nature. — Thomas Szasz

Dean: Don't you find that somewhat of an aberration? Doesn't this disturb you my dear? After all, it's not normal.
Molly: I know it's not normal for people in this world to be happy, and I'm happy. — Rita Mae Brown

Your apartment isn't what I want to come inside, Fi. — Anonymous