Funny Diet Quotes & Sayings
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Top Funny Diet Quotes

The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up! — Mitch Hedberg

Once you come up with a premise, you have to work out how it all happened. It's a bit like coming up with a spectacular roof design first. Before you can get it up there, you need to build a solid foundation and supporting structure. — Linwood Barclay

Medicine's a funny business. After all, dispensing chemicals is considered mainstream and diet and nutrition is considered alternative. — Charles F. Glassman

The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves
survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about ... — Scott Westerfeld

We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry every night. Well, that was probably true. They were all on a diet. — Ronald Reagan

It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch. — Becca Fitzpatrick

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck

Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? — Regina Griffin

That we manifest our approbation of the Westminster Assembly's Catechism, as containing an excellent system of divinity; and we purpose to preach agreeably to the doctrines of the Bible exhibited therein. — Jonathan Edwards

Ultimately the product that any writer has to sell is not the subject being written about, but who he or she is. — William Zinsser

If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression. — E.A. Bucchianeri

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I had just sat down at a table with Star [Jones] and, bam, it just popped all over Star's shoes. Star was like, 'What is that!?' I said, 'My water broke!' — Holly Robinson Peete

Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much. — Woody Allen

Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet. — Farhan Akhtar

Life isn't about getting more. It's about becoming more. — Tony Robbins

It's a fact that people who are in a weakened position, whether physically or mentally, have this perception of the outer world as threatening. Everything that is unexpected or unknown is seen as a potential danger. — Michael Haneke

Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!
~Swapna Rajput~ — Swapna Rajput

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

I am fairly certain that I was the first Seven Sisters grad to eat duck liver chased with a Diet Coke in the lobby of a federal penitentiary. Then again, you never know. — Piper Kerman

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O. — Mychal Thompson

Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE — A.O. Storm

There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your intellectual diet. — Philo Farnsworth