Funny Deadbeat Dad Quotes & Sayings

Father and I are off to poison a princess. While we are away, please try and find the evil Blackthorn within yourself, before I send your blood away for testing. I want to find out if you've ever been swapped accidentally. I would explain a great deal. — Jack Simmonds

If they had a pill that would fix every dysfunctional family in the world, don't you think they'd be selling it?"
"I don't think the world is ready for that kind of happiness. — Michael Thomas Ford

Inside the pub, Richard's friends continued to celebrate his forthcoming departure with an enthusiasm that, to Richard, was beginning to border on the sinister. — Neil Gaiman

Most rewarding of the ladders hang by slightest of the threads. Rope them threads. — Dharmendra Tolani

Once, I was easy. Now, I was choosy. See? Big difference. — Sarah Dessen

Great joy doesn't obliterate grief. Both can be encompassed at the same time. — Helen Brown

We demand justice," Jeff says. "we don't have it, the world is a mess because of assholes who think they can steal everything and get away with it. So we have to overwhelm them and get back to justice."
"And conditions are ripe, is that what you're saying?"
"Very ripe. People are pissed off. They're scared for their kids. That's the moment things can tip. If it works like Chenoweth's law says it does, then you only need about fifteen percent of a population to engage in civil disobedience, and the rest see it and support it, and the oligarchy falls. You get a new legal regime. It doesn't have to get all bloody and lead to a thugocracy of violent revolutionaries. If can work. And conditions are ripe. — Kim Stanley Robinson

And one day, very soon in fact, Adi would be an adolescent. An adolescent son of a clerk. A miserable thing to be in this country. He would have to forget all his dreams and tell himself that what he wanted to do was engineering. It's the only hope, everyone would tell him. Engineering, Adi would realize, is every mother's advice to her son, a father's irrevocable decision, a boy's first foreboding of life. — Manu Joseph

It is shocking that young people should be addling their brains over mere logical subtleties in Euclid's Elements, trying to understand the proof of one obvious fact in terms of something equally .. obvious. — Oliver Heaviside

A noble journey through the travails of time calls for a person to disregard conventional social, cultural, and moral contexts and strive to cleave a personal meaning that guides their existence. — Kilroy J. Oldster

There's only so much you can teach a person until you reach the limits of his capabilities. — Arnold Rothstein