Funny Commercials Quotes & Sayings

I don't wanna be def. Death. Dead. This Burger Twin nappykin just got served as my will, BEOTCH! The fries here suck, by the way. If I die, don't feed my son your shitty fries. Don't give my son to the creepy child molester king you put in your commercials either. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? He's got a normal body and a plastic face that is always smiley. It's not right, man. It's just not right. My ears feel funny. — Tara Sivec

So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They solve problems, such as how to get inner-city kids to spend $175 on shoes. They serve as a backdrop for some of our most memorable commercials. And they remain the one and only relevant application of math. Not only that, but we have sports to thank for most of the last century's advances in manliness. The system starts in school, where gym class separates the men from the boys. Then those men are taught to be winners, or at least, losers that hate themselves. — Stephen Colbert

We know to much to command ourselves very far. — Julian Jaynes

I started finding humor in everything. I used to watch a lot of TV, and I finally figured I didn't need to watch TV to find funny stuff. I just watch the commercials. I mean, the commercials just blew my mind. — Andy Andrews

Trying to influence another person without first establishing a relationship is like trying to boil water outside of a kettle. Trust, like the kettle, is the vessel in which all things work together to generate powerful action — Denis G. McLaughlin

Time is as necessary for remembering as it is for forgetting. Even the smallest embrace of pain needs time larger than a pause; the greatest pause requires an eternity, the greatest hurt a lifetime. A lifetime is longer than eternity: an eternity can exist without human presence. — Yvonne Vera

I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they work and why they're funny - which is one of the reasons I, like many people, like watching the Super Bowl, besides the game. — Kevin Nealon

All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. "Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?" "Yes, I have all those things! I'm alive!" — Ellen DeGeneres

Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke. — Alex Winter

It is usually when men are at their most religious that they behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty. — Ilka Chase

I've probably put up with more criticism than a lot of people out there. At the end of the day, you block out everything, especially with your personal life. — Lleyton Hewitt

Yes, I direct commercials as well. I get these really weird offers and then I have to bid on them and win the job. One offer that I have now, and I've already done this last year for the same company, is for Cash Value Cheese, this cheese out in the midwest. I did two spots for them last year and I'm going to probably do three this year. I also did some for the Utah Transit Authority, which was weird and interesting and they turned out really funny - they actually won an award. — Andy Dick

When he was dressed, Stepan Arkadyevitch sprinkled some scent on himself, pulled down his shirt-cuffs, distributed into his pockets his cigarettes, pocketbook, matches, and watch with its double chain and seals, and shaking out his handkerchief, feeling himself clean, fragrant, healthy, and physically at ease, in spite of his unhappiness, he walked with a slight swing on each leg into the dining-room, where coffee was already waiting for him, and beside the coffee, letters and papers from the office. — Leo Tolstoy

Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven. — Henry Ward Beecher

The most important condition for progress is freedom of the mind. — Debasish Mridha

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. — Kevin Nealon

Consider the different narrative styles within the story, and the glee with which the "moralistic narrator" celebrates Aschenbach's fall - maybe, then, this is a hostile verdict and the international fame is warranted after all (given that Mann modeled his protagonist so closely on himself, it would be quite odd if he had intended Aschenbach's literary inferiority to be a fixed part of the interpretation). — Philip Kitcher

I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny. — Orlando Jones

You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes. — Maimonides

If the foundation is firm the building can withstand calamities. The practice of yoga is the foundation so that the self is not shaken under any circumstances. — B.K.S. Iyengar

XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?" — Mitch Hedberg