Funny Coke Quotes & Sayings

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week. — Lewis Black

Actually, I wouldn't mind a Malibu and coke."
"You're having a fucking pint."
"Is my choice of drink too gay for you?"
"Malibu and coke is a pussy drink. Last I heard you were strictly anti-pussy. — L.A. Gilbert

A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, 'Do you have coke in a glass harmonica ... Do you have individually wrapped cashews' — Mitch Hedberg

I am fairly certain that I was the first Seven Sisters grad to eat duck liver chased with a Diet Coke in the lobby of a federal penitentiary. Then again, you never know. — Piper Kerman

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

Jason smiled and took a sip of his coke before responding. I'm not sure how to reply to that. I thought about just giving you a nasty look. But I see you already have one. — Mark A. Cooper

The whole point of straws, I had thought, was that you did not have to set down the slice of pizza to suck a dose of Coke while reading a paperback. — Nicholson Baker

Can I have Jake and Coke--uh, Jack and Cock — J.L. Langley

I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair. — Doug Stanhope