Funny Chelsea Lately Quotes & Sayings

To the individual believer indwelt by the Holy Spirit there is granted the direct impression of the Spirit of God on the spirit of man, imparting the knowledge of His will in matters of the smallest and greatest importance. This has to be sought and waited for. — G. Campbell Morgan

The genius of a great magician is as impressive as the genius of a great scientist. — Amit Kalantri

I knew he noticed the tress, and the mud, and the children in the street, but I had no reason to believe he'd ever notice me. — Arthur Golden

One of the nice things about having a lover, it makes you think about everything anew. The rest of your life becomes a kind of movie, flat and even rather funny. — John Updike

The grander the vision the greater the price tag. — Bill Hybels

Don't pessimism and caution naturally go hand in hand? — Lynne Truss

This next record is dedicated to some personal friends of mine, the LAPD. For every cop that has ever taken advantage of somebody, beat 'em down or hurt 'em, because they got long hair, listen to the wrong kinda music, wrong color, whatever they thought was the reason to do it. For every one of those fuckin' police, I'd like to take a pig out here in this parkin' lot and shoot 'em in their mothafuckin' face. — Ice-T

Regular women carry pictures of their babies, their husbands, their summer houses. Fat ladies carry pictures of themselves at their skinniest. — Jennifer Weiner

A guilty conscience means at least you have one. — Jakob Dylan

However, while being able to think about two things at the same time is a terribly convenient, the training it takes to get there is frustrating at best, and at other times rather disturbing.
I remember one time I looked for the stone for almost an hour before I consented to ask the other half of me where I'd hidden it, only to find I hadn't hidden the stone at all. I had merely been waiting to see how long I would look before giving up. Have you ever been annoyed and amused with yourself at the same time? It's an interesting feeling, to say the very least. — Patrick Rothfuss

Being put in a group, I hate that. I don't think anyone likes it. Everyone just wants to be their own person. — Amber Le Bon

It therefore become essential for the future of Judaism itself that its advancement should be correlated with a similar effort to advance the cause of religion generally. — Louis Finkelstein

Let me say that God will send me the plan when He gives the word as He has done before now. — Mahatma Gandhi

The belief that man is an irresolute creature pulled this way and that by two forces of equal strength, alternately winning and losing the battle for his soul; the conviction that human life is nothing more than an uncertain struggle between heaven and hell; the faith in two opposed entities, Satan and Christ - all this was bound to engender those internal discords in which the soul, excited by the incessant fighting, stimulated as it were by the constant promises and threats, ends up by giving in and prostitutes itself to whichever of the two combatants has been more obstinate in its pursuit. — Joris-Karl Huysmans

And he'd railed at her, his voice booming so loud the bed had seem to shake. "You canna do this - take my goddamned heart and then leave me! You think I will no' follow?"
She knew he was constantly there, was aware of his movement and comprehended his words, but she couldn't seem to open her heavy eyelids or speak.
At night, he would wrap his body around hers, keeping her warm, whispering against her hair, "You enjoy being contrary. Then prove them all wrong and get better." He'd clutched her hip, then balled his fist there. — Kresley Cole