Funny Censored Quotes & Sayings

The first bike that I bought was a Triumph 650. I really like the Triumph 650. I mean, of course, I've driven Harleys, and I think in 'Savage Seven' I drove an Indian, but - I really love Triumph. — Larry Bishop

Podcasts feature comedians being as funny as they can be in a non-censored situation. It's really akin to standup in a way. When you go see a comedian in standup, that is the most pure, unadulterated form of their art. — Scott Aukerman

I spend far too much time on eBay buying lamps and upholstery remnants. — Heidi Julavits

First off, I don't want anyone to think I'm this huge thing in Japan. Every group from here that's made any records over any length of time - even indie bands - have a Cheap Trick effect in Japan. — Matthew Sweet

It [Jamaat-e-Islami] is not a missionary organisation or a body of preachers or evangelists, but an organisation of God's troopers. — Abul A'la Maududi

There is never only ONE of anything in nature. — Carl Sagan

A world of little cares is continually arising, which busy or affluent life knows nothing of, to open the first door to distress. Hunger is not among the postponable wants; and a day, even a few hours, in such a condition is often the crisis of a life of ruin. — Thomas Paine

Plot is tremendously important to me: I can't stand books where nothing happens, and I can't imagine ever writing a novel without at least one murder. — Ned Beauman

When my way is too rough for my feet, or too steep for my strength, I get off it to some smooth velvet path which fancy has scattered over with rosebuds of delights; and, having taken a few turns in it, come back strengthened and refreshed. — Laurence Sterne

Whether you CAN forgive and whether you SHOULD trust. — Emily Giffin

And when Aaron called out for him just then, right on time, there was something beautiful about that, too, the way a little kid needed you for everything and wasn't afraid to say so. — Tom Perrotta

Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as 'job creator.' You can't even use the word 'rich.' You have to say, 'This chocolate cake is so moist and job creator.' — Jon Stewart

Even a passenger on an airplane falling from the sky can't shake the hope that he'll be the one to survive. — Koji Suzuki

Comic strips are like a public utility. They're supposed to be there 365 days a year, and you're supposed to be able to hit the mark day after day. — Garry Trudeau

The seed you sow today will not produce crop till tomorrow. For this reason, your identity does not lie in your current results. This is not who you are. your current results are who you were. — James Arthur Ray