Funny Cab Driver Quotes & Sayings

Wealth is not the fruit of labor but the result of organized protected robbery. — Frantz Fanon

the essence of the Hajj is Arafat. On the ninth day of the Hajj month all pilgrims gather on the great Plain of Arafat to offer their deepest heartfelt prayers. It's a reminder of Resurrection, when everyone will stand "naked" before God on Judgement Day and nothing counts but our actions and their effects upon our soul'. — Kristiane Backer

New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign." — Jim Gaffigan

Syntax is complex, but the complexity is there for a reason. For our thoughts are surely even more complex, and we are limited by a mouth that can pronounce a single word at a time. — Steven Pinker

There are two public prosecutors, and one of them is at your door, punishing crimes against society; the other is nature herself. She is familiar with all those vices that escape the law. — Denis Diderot

Remember back in forty-four when someone killed that pet parrot of yours? What was his name, Reynold? You know, the only friend you ever had? That was me, George. I fucked it to death then fed it to Goshy. — Will Elliott

Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life. — Hannibal Buress

I would as lief look upon a piece of pastrami-stained paper as on the face of Alfred Kazin. — Saul Bellow

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. — Jimmy Fallon

I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50. — Mitch Hedberg

There's no way that can be the river," Rhiow said.
"Rhi, the ceiling of Grand Central
" Saash said.
"It's backward," Rhiow snapped, "thank you very much, I know all about it."
"Is it?" Saash said. "Which direction are you coming at it from?"
Rhiow closed her mouth and thought about that. — Diane Duane

Hate is a cancer on one's soul. — Frank Sonnenberg

Stop being silly, her name is Reshidatu. It is a pity that our official language is English, and a greater pity that our three major languages is the WaZoBia. — S.A. David

One of the more dispiriting things I think about endless touring is hearing the same piece of music over and over again and I end up feeling like a fraud. — Squarepusher

Once again, the hopeless cowardly Americans were back to repeat their cowardly act hiding behind a technological advance that God, most gracious, wanted it to be their curse and cause for shame. — Saddam Hussein

I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect ... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house! — Rodney Dangerfield