Funny Bush Quotes & Sayings

It's funny how the history of Jeb Bush is going to be rewritten. — Chuck Todd

When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group. — Shirin Ebadi

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. — George W. Bush

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. — Barack Obama

A funny little literary article in the hand is worth at least three Critiques of Pure Reason in the bush. — Aldous Huxley

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration. — Aziz Ansari

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world. — Marc Maron

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things — George W. Bush

Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter. — George W. Bush

Nobody really thinks that Bush or McCain have a real answer for the challenges we face, so what they're going to try to do is make you scared of me. You know, he's not patriotic enough. He's got a funny name. You know, he doesn't look like all those other presidents on those dollar bills, you know. He's risky. — Barack Obama

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak. — Chelsea Handler

The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself. — George W. Bush

Bush, Blair and Rumsfeld; they are the funny trio. — Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf

On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television. — Billy Connolly

I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically. — George W. Bush

From my dad ... I think we have a similar sense of humor. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I think he's funny! — Jenna Bush

As a young man, I used to sport a rather ragged beard [ ... ]; it doesn't suit and in its untended state I can often come to look like a set of sensory organs lost in a raspberry bush. — Claire North

Trying to assassinate the president should not be funny. It really shouldn't. It's not like I was cracking up when we read about Lincoln or JFK. But let's face it, they were real presidents. Gerald Ford ranks right up there with Millard Fillmore and Bush the First on the list of unexciting white men who have run this country, made their way into history books, and otherwise been human sleeping pills. If all the presidents had been television shows, Gerald Ford would probably have been a PBS fund drive. So I'd bet the fact that anyone would try to kill Gerald Ford, Gerald Rudolph Ford, was kind of hard to get excited about, even back in the day. — Alison Umminger

I call my balls the bush twins. — Zach Galifianakis

The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country. — George W. Bush

It's your money. You paid for it. — George W. Bush

The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason - to pass the tax bill on to you. — George W. Bush

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. — George W. Bush

I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. — George W. Bush

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans. — George W. Bush

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking. — Chelsea Handler

The illiteracy level of our children are appalling. — George W. Bush

As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get an education,don't let anybody tell you that your body or the size that you wear or any of that bullshit matters because it doesn't. Your brain matters, so be the smart girl in the room because to be funny you have to be smart, because you have to get the joke — Sophia Bush

It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration. — Roger Ebert

It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce. — George W. Bush

You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes! — Mitch Hedberg

They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. — Laura Bush

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? — Chris Rock

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right. — George W. Bush

We ought to make the pie higher. — George W. Bush

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms. — George W. Bush

The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines ... I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirize George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them. And that's not funny ... OK, well, if I say that, I might get a shock laugh, but it's not really satire. — Tom Lehrer

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job. — George H. W. Bush

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here. — George W. Bush

A bush-warbler,
Coming to the verandah-edge,
Left its droppings
On the rice-cakes. — Matsuo Basho

I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid. — Sophia Bush

It's funny when you write a song - it's easy for me now - but there's almost a second stage where you take control of the song. You start writing it, and if you're not careful, it just finishes itself and it might not be what you wanted. It's very strange, it takes over itself. It has its own life. — Kate Bush

I have lived my life in the shelter of too many northern alliances. I have made alliance with the gentle cow, the health department, the local policeman. In the shelter of such alliances I have got out of bed in the morning with moderate assurance that I shall still be alive at bedtime. But south of the moon my allies vanish, and I have an emptiness in my stomach. I fear the cobras in the garden. I lack a treaty with the lioness. I dread the crocodiles of Lake Victoria, the tsetse fly in the Tanganyika bush, the little airplane with the funny engine, and the mosquito in the soft evening air. But most of all, I am afraid of the African street. — Robert Ardrey

Gene Wilder is so funny. — Kate Bush

Irma, she said. But I had started to walk away. I heard her say some more things but by then I had yanked my skirt up and was running down the road away from her and begging the wind to obliterate her voice. She wanted to live with me. She missed me. She wanted me to come back home. She wanted to run away. She was yelling all this stuff and I wanted so badly for her to shut up. She was quiet for a second and I stopped running and turned around once to look at her. She was a thimble-sized girl on the road, a speck of a living thing. Her white-blond hair flew around her head like a small fire and it was all I could see because everything else about her blended in with the countryside.
He offered you a what? she yelled.
An espresso! I yelled back. It was like yelling at a shorting wire or a burning bush.
What is it? she said.
Coffee! I yelled.
Irma, can I come and live
I turned around again and began to run. — Miriam Toews