Funny Bruises Quotes & Sayings

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres

You certainly do heal fast. But you'll still have some impressive bruises, so if I were you I'd avoid your father for the rest of the night."
"I'll just tell him you abuse me," Helen said with a shrug. She jumped off the examining table.
"And I'll tell him you like it," he teased back. — Josephine Angelini

The funny thing about our act is that dad gets the worst of it, although I'm the one who apparently receives the bruises ... the secret is in landing limp and breaking the fall with a foot or a hand. It's a knack. I started so young that landing right is second nature with me. Several times I'd have been killed if I hadn't been able to land like a cat. Imitators of our act don't last long, because they can't stand the treatment. — Buster Keaton