Funny Bob Uecker Quotes & Sayings

I had a blind date with a dentist - and he told me to come back in six months. — Joan Rivers

Nobody should get married at 17. — Gloria Vanderbilt

Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance. — Cheryl Richardson

Come with me," he said quietly and extended his hand.
"Nuh-uh." I shook my head, scooting in the opposite direction . "I don't think so, All American Hero. — J.A. Saare

The measure of the wealth of a nation is indicated by the measure of its protection of its industry; the measure of the poverty of a nation is marked by the degree in which it neglects and abandons the care of its own industry, leaving it exposed to the action of foreign powers. — Henry Clay

What is superstition , but misguided, unobjective science? And when it comes down to that, is it to be wondered if people grasp at superstition in this rotten, hate-filled, half-doomed world of today? Lord knows, I'd welcome the blackest of black magic, if it could do anything to stave off the atom bomb. — Fritz Leiber

Maybe the word welfare should be changed to something of, 'a transitional living fund.' For that is what it is - for people to be able to live. — Sheila Jackson Lee

If I wasn't a decent woman I'd heist a leg and pee in your ear until it washed out that stinking pile of crap you call brains. — Jim Thompson

My parents were lenient. My mother believed God was another word for nature. I took up Satanism not out of desperation, but out of logic. I rebelled, not but because of a religious or repressive childhood. I wanted to join the French Foreign Legion. — Anton Szandor LaVey

Only the soul that loves is happy — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

You must begin to trust yourself. If you do not then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do, and at the same time, resenting those from whom you seek such aid. — Jane Roberts

No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open. — George Carlin

If the personal freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution inhibit the government's ability to govern the people, we should look to limit those guarantees. — William J. Clinton