Funny Before I Die Quotes & Sayings

Champions are pioneers, and pioneers get shot at. The companies that get the most from champions, therefore, are those that have rich support network so their pioneers will flourish. This point is so important it's hard to overstress. No support systems, no champions. No champions, no innovations. — Tom Peters

I feel like I'm going to die,' he says.
'Could we talk for a few minutes before you die?'
'Only if you do it quietly.'
'I met this girl last night. I need your advice.'
'Come back later.'
'No. You might be dead. — Doug MacLeod

Its funny how certain objects convey a message
my washer and dryer, for example. They can't speak, of course, but whenever I pass them they remind me that I'm doing fairly well. "No more laundromat for you," they hum. My stove, a downer, tells me every day that I can't cook, and before I can defend myself my scale jumps in, shouting from the bathroom, "Well, he must be doing something. My numbers are off the charts." The skeleton has a much more limited vocabulary and says only one thing: "You are going to die. — David Sedaris

Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully. — Zig Ziglar

You've got this life and while you've got it, you'd better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's eyes like they're the last you'll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there's no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it's the only one left in the world! — C. JoyBell C.

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. — Bill Bailey

Violent resistance and nonviolent resistance share one very important thing in common: They are both a form of theater seeking an audience to their cause. — Julia Bacha

You never quite stop loving someone when you're in that deep. — Tarryn Fisher

It's only sixteen ninety-five," I say with a flutter of my lashes.
"You're serious."
I prop my hands on my waist and stick out a hip, striking a pose worthy of a supermodel. "Look at me. Don't I look serious?"
She collapses into the chair outside the dressing room in a fit of giggles so cute they make my insides fizz. "No! You must be stopped," she says.
"Why?" I strut down an aisle of yellowed lingerie, swiveling my hips, batting bras with flicks of my fingers. "I will be the king of the disco. I will be - " I spin and strike another pose. "An inspiration."
She sniffs and swipes at her eyes. "The real Dylan would die before he'd be seen in public in something like that."
"The real Dylan is boring." I brace my hands on the arms of her chair and lean down until our faces are a whisper apart. "And he's not one fourth the kisser I am."
"Is that right?" Her lips quirk.
"You know it is."
Her smile melts, and her breath comes faster. "Yeah. I do. — Stacey Jay

Tex's head snapped in my direction.
Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed
I shook my head.
Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by- — Kristen Ashley

I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, "Are you going
to point, or are you going to eat?"
"I just like to know what I'm putting in my mouth before I swallow."
Noah arched an eyebrow, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. — Michelle Hodkin

Truth is in the guidance of the Coven. Is it a curse or a blessing? — Amy Lunderman

The next world is 'segregated'? You can go to the World of Yin only if you're Chinese?"
"No-no! Miss Banner, she not Chinese, she go to Yin World. All depend what you love, what you believe. You love Jesus, go Jesus House. You love Allah, go Allah Land. You love sleep, go sleep."
"What if you don't believe in anything for sure before you die?"
"Then you go big place, like Disneyland, many places can go try
you like, you decide. No charge, of course. — Amy Tan

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die. — Frankie Boyle

I know that grief, like regret, settles into our DNA and remains forever a part of us. — Kristin Hannah

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he's up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..."

"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"

"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!? — Jonathan Dunne

Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened. — Lish McBride

It was an appalling thought, to be so well-integrated into the machinery of society and history as to be able to move in only one plane, and along one line. — Kurt Vonnegut

She never knew when she trespassed and when she fell in love with Huzaf. Perhaps this is the beauty of love, it doesn't knock. It just creeps in slowly and steadily. — Tarif Naaz

The quotes are often poignant or funny (one man before the firing squad requests a bulletproof vest) and often don't register as much more than interesting historical documents from centuries past. But read in aggregate, all that pain piles up. Essentially, Elder has amassed a collection of what people say when they know they are going to die, the final product of what could be seen as psychological torture. — Jonathan Messinger