Funny Bat Quotes & Sayings

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!" — Mitch Hedberg

You are unnerving the hell out of me, Valkyrie."
"oh" she frowned, petting her bat fitfully " I must have misread the future for the past." she shrugged. "It happens. — Kresley Cole

Weetzie could see him
it was a man, a little man in a turban, with a jewel in his nose, harem pants, and curly-toed slippers.
"Lanky Lizards!" Weetzie exclaimed.
"Greetings," said the man in an odd voice, a rich, dark purr.
"Oh, shit!" Weetzie said.
"I beg your pardon? Is that your wish? — Francesca Lia Block

Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers; we get Aquatruck. — Cassandra Clare

The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century. — Jerry Coleman

( ... ) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal. — Keary Taylor

The conversation, as usual, switched back to sex.
"It's difficult with you sometimes though, babe," Dominic said to Bronagh. "I'm constantly torn between wanting to fucking destroy you, but I also want to bring you flowers and chocolates and treat you like a princess."
Bro, TMI!
Bronagh didn't bat an eyelid. "Why not do both?"
Sis, TMI!
"That right there," Dominic snapped his fingers, "that's why I love you — L.A. Casey

Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat. — Emo Philips

In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."
"Fight or flight."
"Yes."
"Only half of that is flight. — Adam Rex

I remember I autographed it to Mutt Lange, and I may only have put one t on Mutt. I mean, I'd never heard of such a name. I'm sure he must've thought that was quite funny. He must've known from that autograph, right off the bat, that I had no idea who he was. — Shania Twain

We are about to be eaten by a dragon, you're crawling on bleeding hands through bat droppings, and you're worried about being proper? — Bethany Wiggins

Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. — Eric Idle

It's alright" said a dreamy voice from beside Harry as Ron vanished into the coach's dark interior. "You're not going mad or anything. I can see them too."
"Can you?" said Harry desperately, turning to Luna. He could see the bat-winged horses reflected in her wide, silvery eyes.
"Oh yes," said Luna, "I've been able to see them since my first year here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."
Smiling faintly, she climbed into the musty interior of the carriage after Ron. Not altogether reassured, Harry followed her. — J.K. Rowling

You know, sometimes I do hear funny things on that side. Things you wouldn't ordinarily think have a sound. Like insect wings. Or snow hitting the ground." Perfect. Now all the attention will turn to the surgeons who fixed my deaf ear after the Games last year, and they'll have to explain why I can hear like a bat. — Suzanne Collins

Green Lantern: "What are your powers anyway? You can't fly."
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Super-strength?"
Batman: "No."
Green Lantern: "Hold on a second ... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?! — Geoff Johns

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat? — Thomas Nagel

Sound ... if you look at bats you know that navigate with sonar, they're like you know they're very precise. They can even see a bat head towards a building and swerve away, but you'll see a bird that doesn't ... you know smash right into a glass window. It's very funny. — DJ Spooky

What's so funny?" she asked, crinkling her face in confusion. "This," he said, whirling to bat down the books that sailed at him with flapping pages. "I mean in my youth, we had iron chastity belts to keep maidens pure, but this is new. And entertaining." He smiled at her with sharp teeth, not at all bothered by her voices poltergeist act. — Eve Langlais

It was funny, when I thought of it afterward, how Ruth and Gehrig looked as they stood there. The Babe must have been waiting for me to get the ball up a little so he could get his bat under it. — Carl Hubbell

The key is just to ignore the pain, because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't actually hurt. If someone gets hit in the face with a bat, falls down, and gets back up, it's funny. If they stay down and their jaw is wired shut in the next scene, it's really tragic and weird. You have to pretend it doesn't hurt. — Chris Pratt

I . . . uh . . . thinking about the time you got mad at me for . . . trampling that cockroach. Then remembered how you lit into Goodwin with that bat. I found it funny. — Karen Witemeyer