Funny Basketball Team Quotes & Sayings

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. — Rita Rudner

Today's Terror Forecast has predicted a day of low-to-moderate unrest for East Jerusalem with mild political pressure moving inward from the west. — Lee Konstantinou

Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender. — Craig Ferguson

Vagueness is at times an indication of nearness to a perfect truth. — Charles Ives

I'm much too modest a person. — Malcolm Muggeridge

The aim of totalitarian education has never been to instill convictions but to destroy the capacity to form any. — Hannah Arendt

Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities. — Harvey MacKay

It seemed such a brief while ago that they were all laughing at Professor Nikolayev's definition of a musicologist. Imagine we are eating scrambled eggs, the Professor used to say. My cook, Pasha, has prepared them, and you and I are eating them. Along comes a man who has not prepared them and is not eating them, but he talks about them as if he knows everything about them - that is a musicologist. — Julian Barnes

That's what people want to watch - somebody telling a story. So if you go in and tell a story that makes sense to them, that touches them, then they're going to watch; then they'll tell a friend and that type of thing. In terms of how many people are watching in a given week, it's more the advertiser's job, not mine. — Shaun Sipos

You're the Picasso of pain. — Pat Benatar

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer. — Rita Rudner

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together. — Gene Shue