Funny Annoying Quotes & Sayings

Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet."
"You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.
He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."
I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared.
"Oh, very funny!" I yelled. — Rick Riordan

He really did posses the ability to be extremely annoying when he set his mind to it. — Jen Turano

These same ABCs couldn't speak Chinese and didn't care---but you don't have shit without your native tongue. African slaves were forced by threat of physical punishment to abandon their native languages, but a lot of us just gave ours up with a shrug---these Uncle Chans convinced us to assimilate, shut the fuck up, and play the part. What they didn't understand is that after your have the money and degrees, you can't buy your identity back. I wasn't worried about degrees, but I cared about my roots. Even if I hated what it meant to be an Asian in t he American wilderness, i respected the Chinese home I was raised in. Usually I wasn't so vocal about Asian identity, but without my parents around, I felt a sudden duty to say something myself. It's funny how annoying I thought my mom was, but as soon as she wasn't around, i carried the torch for her. — Eddie Huang

Uh- you shouldn't mock orange if I were you
- Why not?
*everyone sings* He will He will mock you
He will He will mock you
*orange starts singing*
Hey buddy bannana
You live in a habana
you small like a cabana
but sdon't worry it's gonna be great someday
Really?
Orange: Nope..Not really
*Everyone sings*
He will He will mock you
He will He will mock you. — Annoying Orange

No matter how much closure I'm going to give you, you're going to compare me to every single man you meet, Mia. It's the same for me. Nobody is ever funny enough, annoying enough, crazy enough, or beautiful enough to equate to you. — Claire Contreras

Skulduggery."
"Fletcher."
Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment.
"I'm sorry, what are we doing now?"
"Shaking hands," Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know.
"You look a lot like him."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"And you have the same ridiculous hair."
"Can we just shake hands?"
"Of course we can," Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?"
"I, uh...I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?"
"Generally, the first thing they do is let go."
"Oh, right," Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie.
"It's blue."
"And such a nice shade."
Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying. — Derek Landy

I can't pass a puppy, a kid or a baby without stopping. It's really annoying to every boyfriend I've ever head. My mother will roll her eyes and go, "God, really?!" But, I find children funny and great, and I love them. — Minnie Driver

He was right. The annoying Disney song was right. The universe was too fucking small. — Nenia Campbell

When I first met you, you were just an annoying novice nurse. But I found out that you saved my life and now you're my little sister. Isn't it funny. — Kim Young-kwang

Why are you always so mad?"

She laughs under her breath. "That's easy," she says. "Assholes, stupid customers, a shitty job, worthless parents, crappy friends, bad weather, annoying roommates who don't know how to kiss."

I laugh at the last comment, which I'm sure was supposed to be a dig, but it felt more like an underhanded flirt.

"How are you so happy all the time?" she asks. "You think everything is funny."

"That's easy," I say. "Great parents, being lucky enough to have a job, loyal friends, sunny days, and roommates who starred in porn films. — Colleen Hoover

I won't let my best friends do silly,stupid,annoying,funny things
-WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!! — Azhly Antenor

Can you be a girl for a few seconds?" "I'm always a girl" I frown. "You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl" I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay. — Veronica Roth

Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast. — Brenda Lochinger

Way I figure it, if I'm forced to have a partner, might as well have one with benefits. If you're annoying me, fucking you will be more satisfying than punching you." Prophet grinned, then added slyly, "And I could punch you afterwards. — S.E. Jakes

You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud — Annoying Orange

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying. — Mitch Hedberg

That's how inside jokes usually are. Funny to those inside, annoying as shit to the rest of the world. — Siobhan Vivian

Orange: Uh Oh
Mario: Uh oh what?
Orange ... Uh-Oh spaghettio's
*LAUGH*
Mario: Not Funny — Annoying Orange

Funny how older brothers could still be annoying even after everyone was all grown-up. — Elizabeth Camden

I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony. — Anne Lamott

You funny thing! So selfish, so practical. Never mind. I will not ask you to kill me, for you would surely find it an annoying task. — Nisi Shawl

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results. — James Patterson

- You are exceedingly annoying.
- Thank you.
- It was not a compliment. — Jen Turano

My mom let me kind of run free and be rowdy. She encouraged it. I'm a youngest child. So I was spazzy and trying to be funny to my older sisters. It's kind of my role in the family - tension reliever. I was funny or annoying, depending on your perspective. — Andy Samberg

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern. — Chelsea Handler

-"You are unbelievable."
-"I hear that a lot from my lady friends," he agreed with a wink.
-"And I'll bet you have plenty as a pole dancer. Like I said before, I need a tracker, not a Chippendale demon. So why don't you run off and hand-wash your gold lame G-string while I get on with the job. Don't worry. I won't tell Lucifer on you. He might try to stick me with someone worse, like your even more annoying twin brother."
-"No need to wash anything, little witch, I prefer to go commando. — Eve Langlais

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world. — P. J. O'Rourke

Funny how things like that can change when you're in these kind of situations. Kash usually drove me crazy. He was so stubborn, and such a smart-ass, but I missed those annoying traits so much. I missed the way our personalities clashed and resulted in us fighting; I would give anything to fight with Kash again. The thought of having children with him used to terrify me, and now I was afraid I'd never get to have that opportunity. And I hated the nickname Sour Patch so damn much, but I would never complain about it again if it meant hearing Kash's voice. — Molly McAdams

I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-off if someone's trying hard to be funny because it feels like they're auditioning for a comedy job or something. It doesn't feel romantic to me. I get so much comedy from my life that, from a guy, I'm more looking for something sweet or romantic. — Chelsea Peretti

FYI, baby, havin' your attitude back is so far from annoying, it's not fuckin' funny. — Kristen Ashley

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. — Heather Hildenbrand

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying ... " — Mike Birbiglia

Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood. — Shelly Laurenston

And get some self-esteem. What the fuck is that? It's so annoying to see a pretty girl see herself as not worthy. You know what it makes us guys think you aren't worthy? We see you how you see you. You're pretty and funny and smart. Stop being such a douche-canoe. — Tara Brown

I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it and so do your friends and family. I knew before I was funny I was very annoying so I have that covered. I think it was because I was not very good in school I used humor as a defense mechanism. When I started doing plays and stuff at school I decided that I was going to keep doing it until someone tells me to stop and get a real job. — Joel McHale

Come on, hurry up, snailpaws," Toklo growled at Lusa. He poked her in the side with his nose. "Where's all that annoying early-morning cheerfulness you're usually so full of?"
"Well, maybe if you hadn't woken me up by dropping a fish on my head," Lusa protested, yawning. — Erin Hunter

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. — Joe Rogan

A joke is a witticism or play on words that's meant to be funny. I say 'meant to be' because most jokes aren't funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying. — Michael Monroe

Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me."
"Say 'please.'"
"Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?"
"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.
"All right- PLEASE."
"NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. — J.K. Rowling