Funny Accountant Quotes & Sayings

There is nothing so rewarding as to make people realize that they are worthwhile in this world. — Bob Anderson

There are no shadows in the Underdark. There is no room for imagination in the Underdark. It is a place for alertness, but not aliveness, a place with no room for hopes and dreams. — R.A. Salvatore

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. — Ellen DeGeneres

Even if my throat bleeds from singing and my body breaks from dancing,I will never give up on stage.Under the circumstances where you cannot enjoy yourself whole-heartedly.Just scream and shout 'till your throat hurts — Jaejoong

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids — Harvey MacKay

The list of women to potentially be on a major party ticket, in both parties, is embarrassingly short. — Eleanor Clift

because there may be a few coincidences in life, but none in crime. Everything has a motive. — Linda Howard

I am truly an angel investor and I'am not a passive investor.As a passive investor, I am awful because I can not put funding into a company and leave it to other people. — Terry Matthews

There are probably more of us. If we're all zombies, then
there's got to be more. I say we go up to the cemetery and find out."
"Can we get soda on the way?"
Nothing washes down brains better than a can of Coca Cola and a little shameless product placement. (Hey, the undead do have an image problem.)
"Soda and cemeteries! Soda and cemeteries!" they chanted. "And braaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiins!"
"Hey Bernie, you're getting pretty good at that."
"Okay, you try."
"Braaa - " the zombie belched, " - aiiinsss."
Earl heaved the coroner's body out of the way. They headed off for the cemetery, each trying furiously to perfect their own, unique and personal call for brains like an undead choir, out of tune.
"Braaaaiiiiins!" "Braaiiiiiiiinns!" "Braaaaaaaaaains!" "Bray-uns."
"That was just awful." ...Away into the night. — Daniel Younger

Isn't Glen an accountant? We're all frugal." These days, by necessity.
"You might be frugal, but Glen is cheap. For Valentine's Day, he actually suggested that we go to a card shop, exchange cards in the aisle, then put them back because he didn't see the use in spending the money!"
"Okay, that's cheap."
Libby huffed. "I swear, if he cuts up my Bloomingdale's card, I'll cut off his pecker. — Stephanie Bond

Had the Hebrews not been disturbed in their progress a thousand and more years ago, they would have solved all the great problems of civilization which are being solved now under all the difficulties imposed by the spirit of the Middle Ages. — Isaac Mayer Wise

Great presidents take stands, and they fight off these people who really are so far to the right. I don't want to call them names, even though they would call me names. — Helen Thomas

Gentle reminder, Smile please. — Vikrmn

The righteous shall blossom. — Lailah Gifty Akita