Funniest Zach Galifianakis Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. — Stephenie Meyer

My whole life I've been a seeker, searching for something. — Mike White

To make the world a friendly place, one must show it a friendly face. — James Whitcomb Riley

We pretend that success is exclusively a matter of individual merit. But there's nothing in any of the histories we've looked at so far to suggest things are that simple. These are stories, instead, about people who were given a special opportunity to work really hard and seized it, and who happened to come of age at a time when that extraordinary effort was rewarded by the rest of society. Their success was not just of their own making. It was a product of the world in which they grew up. — Malcolm Gladwell

In Jefferson's mind great historical leaps forward were almost always the product of a purging, which freed societies from the accumulated debris of the past and thereby allowed the previously obstructed natural forces to flow forward into the future. Simplicity and austerity, not equality or individualism, were the messages of his inaugural march. It was a minimalist statement about a purging of excess and a recovery of essence. — Joseph J. Ellis

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny. — Zach Galifianakis

The scriptures are basically a narrative of God's interaction with human kind. If we lose this notion of God's desire for relationship with human beings, we're in danger of losing the heart of the Christian faith. Doctrines, of course, will flow from that, but when the scriptures call us to Believe, we're being called to put our trust in Someone, not just agree with a bunch of doctrine. Demons could do that. We are to commit ourselves to Christ. — Paul Copan

Democritus says, "But we know nothing really; for truth lies deep down." — Diogenes

Supernatural gift, but it was a matter as much of his limitations as of his strengths. He could see human society in ways that most businessmen could not, because he was not very much a part of it. And consciously or not, by retiring to his floating island, he preserved this precious limitation. — Michael Lewis

If someone has had a drink in the past month,
he or she is considered a current drinker. For current drinkers there are
also questions about the amount consumed. Those who report having
had five or more drinks on any one occasion during the past month are
termed binge drinkers. If someone has had five or more drinks on at
least five occasions in the past month, he or she is categorized as a heavy
drinker.
WHO — Jean Kinney

What is once well done is done forever. — Henry David Thoreau

Josh: "Are you really going to sit there and pretend that I don't exist?"
Shel: "I'm not pretending you don't exist. In fact, I am very aware you are right there. I am pointedly ignoring you. — Ella Frank

I understand a ship to be made for the carrying and preservation of the cargo, and so long as the ship can be saved, with the cargo, it should never be abandoned. This Union likewise should never be abandoned unless it fails and the possibility of its preservation shall cease to exist, without throwing passengers and cargo overboard. — Abraham Lincoln