Funniest Weirdest Quotes & Sayings

When you lose interest in a program, your last duty to it is to hand it off to a competent successor. — Eric S. Raymond

Time travel isn't a wonder; it's an abomination. — Cristin Terrill

Your inside is out and your outside is in. — John Lennon

At the county level, gentlemen controlled the distribution of justice and charity in their roles as justices of the peace and could hire and fire pastors at will from their seats on the church vestry. One newcomer recalled a gentleman's warning him "against disobliging or offending any person of note in the Colony [because] either by blood or marriage we are almost all related and so connected in our interests that whoever of a stranger presumes to offend any one of us will infallibly find an enemy of the whole."15 — Colin Woodard

Kylie Minogue is the greatest thing that has happened to Australian music. — Nick Cave

I always thought I would be a teacher. And I think I actually lived up to my initial dreams, because what I do now is teach millions and millions of people many different kinds of things. — Martha Stewart

And you are a useless princess who knows absolutely nothing of the real world. You would be the very last person I'd choose to chain myself to. But apparently both our kingdoms - no. The whole realm needs this alliance, so what we want doesn't matter. I will do what I have to do, regardless of my personal feelings, and you will do the same. So sit down, grow up, and start acting like the kind of princess your people deserve." He snapped off the last syllable and abruptly let go at the same time so that I stumbled backward. — Betsy Schow

Maine out of season is unmistakably a great destination: hospitable, good-humored, plenty of elbow room, short days, dark nights of crackling ice crystals. — Paul Theroux

A lot of my research time is spent daydreaming - telling an imaginary admiring audience of laymen how to understand some difficult scientific idea. — Leonard Susskind

Arin took the basket from her. "Coming or going?"
"I've a errand here, and won't be home until late."
"Shall I guess what brings you to town?"
"You can try."
He peeked in the basket. Bread, still warm from the oven. A bottle of liquor. Long, flat, pieces of wood. Rolls of gauze. "A picnic ... with a wounded soldier? Sarsine," he teased, "is it true love? What's the wood for? Wait, don't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know."
She swatted him. "The cartwright's oldest daughter has a broken arm. — Marie Rutkoski

Lady Maria's charity-knitting which she had taken up. Emily was so gratified that she found conversation easy. She did not realise that at that particular — Frances Hodgson Burnett

I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one. — Caitlin Moran

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese? — Jim Gaffigan

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared? — Lily Tomlin