Funniest Short Quotes & Sayings

Ingratitude is monstrous; and for the multitude to be ingrateful were to make a monster of the multitude; of which we being members, should bring ourselves to be monstrous members. — William Shakespeare

He could see the tall, peeling yellow building at the periphery of his range of vision. But something about it struck him as strange. A shimmer, an unsteadiness, as if the building faded forward into stability and then retreated into insubstantial uncertainty. An oscillation, each phase lasting a few seconds and then blurring off into its opposite, a fairly regular variability as if an organic pulsation underlay the structure. As if, he thought, it's alive. — Philip K. Dick

I really expect a lot of myself. — Mark Teixeira

Remember, when YouTube was founded in the U.S., America's Funniest Home Videos had been around for a long time. In China, the history of TV as well as user-generated video is very, very short. So, we've actually had to do a lot of things to motivate that. — Victor Koo

Indeed,' Wing said with a nod, 'though I am not sure that it is a positive thing that what qualifies as a good day at H.I.V.E. is one where no one was either killed or permanently maimed. — Mark Walden

I feel like I've been very smart in the way that I carry myself and treat myself. I feel like my mom was a big part of that just because she's always let us make our own decisions, and we've known very much about the mistakes and the dangers already of whatever this Hollywood life may be. — Evan Ross

When God brings all things to light, you will discover just how significant you've been in God's plan. — Aiden Wilson Tozer

I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy. — Paul Shaffer

For my part, I have worked all my life with eggs and embryos of frogs. Compared to other small animals, these have figured prominently in the world of literature. — John Gurdon