Funniest Inappropriate Quotes & Sayings

Hard to find a better drug than a song you love. — Benji Madden

I have spent a good part of my life looking for the perfect barbecue. There is no point in looking in places like Texas, where they put some kind of ketchup on beef and call it barbecue. Barbecue is pork, which narrows the search to the South, and if it's really good pork barbecue you are looking for, to North Carolina. — Charles Kuralt

Somewhere, somehow, something arises out of the ashes of our losses to remind us that nothing ever ceases. Nothing ever vanishes. Nothing ever comes to nothing. — Craig D. Lounsbrough

He gives before he is asked. — Paulo Coelho

You smiled then, and your whole face changed with it. It kind of lit up, like there were sunbeams coming from inside you. — Lucy Christopher

I think that music at inappropriate times with inappropriate volumes can be the funniest thing ever. — Ed Helms

He loved the interminable winter nights, when the dissatisfied wind mewed through the keyhole, and gusts of acrid smoke were driven down through the chimney; the imperfect silence when you awoke, as of a conversation hastily lulled, objects being hastily replaced. 'Blow, blow thou winter wind, thou art not so unkind as man's ingratitude.' Why was it that he felt so perfectly attuned to winter, to its fatalistic expectation of the worst, then, when the worst came, its rustic heroisms and shouldering of burdens, improvised ingeniousness, constructive despair? — Violet Trefusis

All the things and events we usually consider as irreconcilable, such as cause and effect, past and future, subject and object, are actually just like the crest and trough of a single wave, a single vibration. For a wave, although itself a single event, only expresses itself through the opposites of crest and trough, high point and low point. For that very reason, the reality is not found in the crest nor the trough alone, but in their unity ... — Ken Wilber

You have to be the one setting your own goals, trying to achieve those goals. — Johnny Bench

I don't necessarily agree with everything that I say. — Marshall McLuhan

It is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray; but we must patiently, believingly, continue in prayer until we obtain an answer; and further we have not only to continue in prayer unto the end, but we have also to believe that God does hear us, and will answer our prayers. Most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained, and in not expecting the blessing. — George Muller

Sometimes it's bad to do something you've never done before. — Arthur Smith

I'm not a what-if and could-have person. I'm happy with my decisions. — Kajol