Funniest Book Ever Quotes & Sayings

What do you call a rifle with three barrels?
A trifle. — Joseph Rosenbloom

Van Ritzen is one of the funniest humans I've ever met. Read her book, laugh, lather, rinse, repeat. — Mark Leiren-Young

The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like the clouds, and she would wring them out like the rain. — Markus Zusak

I never tried to ingratiate myself with great writers. When a great writer has nothing to say, he does something else, like chopping firewood. A great writer doesn't try to find something to write about, he only writes when he has to. I was no great writer. I've always had the need to unload my thoughts, and so had to live with a kind of mental incontinence, but I've never felt forced to write a novel. Nor, for that matter, have I ever chopped firewood. — Jostein Gaarder

Johnston's books are beautifully written and among the funniest I have ever read. — Annie Dillard

I am Vaurien Scapegrace," the woman announced, "and I'm here to save the world. — Derek Landy

I was happy where I was floating. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

He said that permitting private judgments to turn my duty in the smallest matter would be just like getting a little bit pregnant
that the consequences would very soon get beyond me. — Lois McMaster Bujold

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny! — David Cross

I don't care if the world or anyone in it tries to drag me down. Because I know that in the end, they will be the ones left tired from the struggle to hold me back. — Hayley Williams

Then, when the stars came out, Ma took out her fiddle. We all quieted down while she tuned the strings, and I got the funniest feeling. I felt as if I was looking at everyone from far away in space, or maybe even in time. They all looked so beautiful sitting in the darkness of the woods under the stars. Their faces were pink and warm and happy in the firelight. I felt perfectly happy and perfectly sad all at the same time, and tears came into my eyes. — Kristin Kladstrup

I'm not 100 percent certain, but I think my cup of coffee just said, You're my bitch. — Darynda Jones

When the course of experience made me see that there is no saviour and no special grace, no remission beyond the human, that pain is to be endured and fades, if it fades, only with time, then God became nothing to me but a dyslexic dog, with neither bark nor bite. — Yann Martel

This is the funniest book I've ever held in my hands.
Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winning humorist and author says about Radical Sabbatical — Dave Barry

The funniest novel you've never read ... Afternoon Men is a revelation to sophisticated readers of every stripe, but especially to a certain kind of artist manqu on the brink of discovering that life is a more difficult business than he ever had reason to expect ... The subject matter is 'relatable,' as my students like to say. Better still, though, is what you can learn about the craft of writing from this marvelous book ... Indeed, if you're looking for a funny, nonportentous Hemingway, then the early Powell is your man. — Blake Bailey

A Long Way from Chicago is the funniest book I have read in a while. You will enjoy the antics of Grandma and the love and dismay her grandchildren feel for her — Robert Newton Peck

The University of Southern California has a wonderful social work department, and I was thrilled to find out that they have a whole veterans' initiative program there. They approached me, and I set up a scholarship that would go to a military-oriented person to learn techniques and skills to better help veterans. — Gary Sinise

What is it with these people? They are more obsessed with me finding a girlfriend than I am.
"He's concentrating on his studies," says Mum proudly.
"Ah," says Mr Coles. "I should've done that, but at his age I was out on the town, living it up. Best days of my life, they were."
"Oh yes, mine too," says Mum with a weird twinkle in her eye.
I wonder how easy it is to kill two people with a screwdriver and a bag of half-frozen peas. — J.A. Buckle

It'd be funny if one of them was called Gavin. Funny but irrelevant. — John Marsden