Funeral Speech Quotes & Sayings

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. — Jerry Seinfeld

Every day, we've got to do something physical. It's mind, body and spirit. — Ray Lewis

Well, I'm sorry you couldn't make it either. I'm sorry I had to sit there in that church--which, by the way, had a broken air conditioner--sweating, watching all those people march down the aisle to look in my mother's casket and whisper to themselves all this mess about how much she looked like herself, even though she didn't. I'm sorry you weren't there to hear the lame choir drag out, song after song. I'm sorry you weren't there to see my dad try his best to be upbeat, cracking bad jokes in his speech, choking on his words. I'm sorry you weren't there to watch me totally lose it and explode into tears. I'm sorry you weren't there for me, but it doesn't matter, because even if you were, you wouldn't be able to feel what I feel. Nobody can. Even the preacher said so. — Jason Reynolds

What, and end up like you? Wistfully recalling a lover from long ago? Please. — Elizabeth Carlton

When I moved to the East Village in the late seventies, I wanted to be a street performer, so I practiced daily. I never did work up the skills or the courage to perform on the street, though. — Steve Buscemi

More than trends, consumers need functionality. Everything needs an element of fashion, but that's more like a spice. — Tadashi Yanai

Because your little inspirational speech was about as uplifting as a kitten funeral. — Sarah Dalton

Dogs are much crueler than BAFTAs — David Mitchell

It would be lovely if he and his wife would succeed in dying before the matter of inherited property was finally settled. Then the person giving the speech at the funeral would be able to say that until the very end they had been able to pursue what they loved: sailing. [p. 121] — Jenny Erpenbeck

I'm used to being in front of camera and knowing what to think. But if you're asking me to be me, I get very self-conscious. My job isn't to be me. Being an actor, people think you can do a eulogy at a funeral, a speech at a wedding. I find all that very nerve-racking. — Eddie Marsan

The source of the ego is God. — Ramana Maharshi

Talk to people no one else is talking to. Who would have thought that giving a speech at a funeral at age 12 would introduce me to a man who would introduce me to my first business contact who would introduce me to several other important people in my life. That's luck. That's randomness. — Ben Casnocha

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with. — Tim Conway

Life is too short to spend in negativity. So I have made a conscious effort to not be where I don't want to be. — Hugh Dillon

Fitz sat in a green leather armchair. To Ethel's surprise, Albert Solman was there, too, in a black suit and a stiff-collared shirt. A lawyer by training, Solman was what Edwardian gentlemen called a man of business. He managed Fitz's money, checking his income from coal royalties and rents, paying the bills, and issuing cash for staff wages. He also dealt with leases and other contracts, and occasionally brought lawsuits against people who tried to cheat Fitz. Ethel had met him before and did not like him. She thought he was a know-all. Perhaps all lawyers were; she did not know: he was the only one she had ever met. — Ken Follett

If string theory is a mistake, it's not a trivial mistake. It's a deep mistake and therefore kind of worthy. — Lee Smolin

Apt and poetic though this was, it was simply too bleak to read at a funeral. Instead I settled on Rumfoord's farewell speech on page 2007, which starts: "I am not dying. I am merely taking my leave of the solar system," and ends: "I shall always be here. I shall always be wherever I've been. — Gavin Extence

We go to sea repeatedly from Melville's time on - and the image of men at sea, like the image of men in the wilderness, seems to me to be almost an archetypal image of human beings on their own, human beings making their own way, guiding themselves by the stars they can see - rather than by faith or prayer or invisible forces. — Maxine Greene

Alice's razor-thin blond hair is what people in Santo Domingo call bueno, but I don't understand how that kind of hair can be good. It doesn't move at all, or ripple like the water in Boca Chica when I throw shells at it. — Raquel Cepeda

Gary, hit me as hard as you can in the face when I'm showing my ID, and then, Grayson, you just walk behind me like you belong in the joint, — John Green

I have seen the future, and it is still in the future. — James Gleick

And always, I could see that, despite his weakness for her or because of it, he seemed uncatchable, as if he might slip away at any moment. — Jodi Lynn Anderson