Funeral Director Quotes & Sayings

I've always said I would want to be a funeral director if I wasn't an actor. — Torrey DeVitto

There are so many cruel decisions parents have to make when their child dies. The funeral director requested a sheet for the coffin, and I sent the cozy flannel one, pale blue with happy snowmen, that had just been put away with the winter linens. — Ann Hood

Many writers, especially male ones, have told us that it is the decease of the father which opens the prospect of one's own end, and affords an unobstructed view of the undug but awaiting grave that says 'you're next.' Unfilial as this may seem, that was not at all so in my own case. It was only when I watched Alexander [my own son] being born that I knew at once that my own funeral director had very suddenly, but quite unmistakably, stepped onto the stage. I was surprised by how calmly I took this, but also by how reluctant I was to mention it to my male contemporaries. — Christopher Hitchens

Vasco bought a bottle of vodka to celebrate and they drank it in the old sailors' graveyard in Mangrove South. This was where the funeral business had first put down its roots. Over the wall, between two warehouses, Jed could just make out the Witch's Fingers, four long talons of sand that lay in the mouth of the river. Rumour had it that, on stormy nights a century ago, they used to reach out, gouge holes in passing ships, and drag them down. Hundreds of wrecks lay buried in that glistening silt. The city's black heart had beaten strongly even then. There was one funeral director, supposedly, who used to put lamps out on the Fingers and lure ships to their doom. — Rupert Thomson

Directing a funeral isn't about death at all. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. — Rebecca McNutt

I thought I'd become a funeral director when I wasn't going to be an actor.. I thought I would be good at helping some people with the grieving process and with trying to get them to talk about and understand who this person was. — Angelina Jolie

You don't want to ask after the health of anyone, if you're a funeral director. They think maybe you're scouting for business. — Neil Gaiman

To this day, I've never understood why McDonald's sell a range of salads. To me, that's like a funeral director selling life insurance or a dentist selling sweets. — Andy Leeks