Funchess Comedian Quotes & Sayings

After Psychonauts went on to be very, very popular in Europe, I got busy with my next big project: being unemployed. — Erik Wolpaw

Procrastination is "maybe"; certainty is, "I'm ready! — Matshona Dhliwayo

I don't like saying goodbye to people. I find it much easier to forgive people than to say goodbye to them, I always have, in any facet of my life. It's hard sometimes to forgive people, but I find it harder to say goodbye if you love them. — Torquil Campbell

Sometimes when I need to comfort myself (all the time) I think about your lisp and it creates a wombskin around my brain full of barbituratesque nectar, the side effects of which include a horny surge in my second chakra and pussy, and then severe withdrawal: a love story. — Melissa Broder

There is very little moral mixture in the 'Antislavery' feeling of this country. A great deal is abstract philanthropy; part is hatred of slaveholders; a great part is jealousy for white labor, very little is consciousness of wrong done and the wish to right it. — George William Curtis

In May 2012 - a year after the Arab awakening erupted - the United States made two financial commitments to the Arab world that each began with the numbers 1 and 3. The U.S. gave Egypt's military regime $1.3 billion worth of tanks and fighter jets. It also gave Lebanese public school students a $13.5 million merit-based college scholarship program, putting 117 Lebanese kids through local American-style colleges that promote tolerance, gender and social equality, and critical thinking. Having visited both countries at that time, I noted in a column that the $13.5 million in full scholarships bought the Lebanese more capacity and America more friendship and stability than the $1.3 billion in tanks and fighter jets ever would. So how about we stop being stupid? — Thomas L. Friedman

Who is that trip-trapping upon my bridge?'
Miss Davies spoke in the low, growling tones of the troll in the story. Some of the little ones covered their mouths and giggled, but most only watched her solemnly, accepting the
voice of the troll as they accepted the voices of their dreams, and their grave eyes reflected the eternal fascination of the fairy tale: would the monster be bested ... or would it feed? — Stephen King

I really understood what was happening in Cannes. I was in a restaurant during a break and when I came out 2 hours later, 500 people were waiting for me at the exit. It was total chaos. They literally had to carry me to the car. — Robert Pattinson

When we live apart from God, our lives get out of tune - out of harmony with others and with God. But if we live in tune with the Master, we, too, will find ourselves surrounded by His beautiful music. As this new year begins, ask God to help you tune your life every day to His Word, so you can bring harmony and joy to those around you. — Billy Graham

Acting is everybody's favorite second job. — Jack Nicholson

Though we cannot understand "the meaning of all things," we do "know that God loveth his children" because He has said, "Behold, this is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals-the immortality and eternal life of man-because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father's perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate. — Dieter F. Uchtdorf