Fun Grandma Quotes & Sayings

The kid pulled a Buck knife out of his pants pocket. "How about giving me your purse, bitch?"
Sally hiked up his skirt, reached into his briefs and pulled out a Glock.
"How about using that knife to slice off your balls?"
Lula whipped a gun out of her red satin purse and Grandma hauled out her .45 long-barrel.
"Day my make, punk," Grandma said.
"Hey, I don't want any trouble," the kid said. "We were just having some fun."
"I want to shoot him," Sally said. "Nobody'll tell, right?"
"No fair," Lula said. "I want to shoot him."
"Okay," Grandma said. "On the count of three, we'll all shoot him. — Janet Evanovich

Thanksgiving was always a favorite holiday for me. The preparation was fun! My grandma and I would walk to the butcher on Jamaica Avenue in Queens, order the bird, and buy all the fixings at the market. — Debi Mazar

Allan was next up, and the bidding was going strong as he got into the fun of the auction, flexing his muscles and smiling brightly.
"Way to go, SEAL!" Lori and Rose shouted.
"Take off your shirt!" Emma shouted.
Catherine whooped and whistled. Paul had to smile at Emma and Catherine.
Lori's face reddened a bit, probably because her own grandma had shouted out the recommendation.
Allan began unbuttoning his shirt slowly and the crowd went wild.
Paul laughed. He hadn't thought that a honey-do bachelor auction would be anything like this. Then again, Emma was a wolf and they could change the dynamics of a situation in a heartbeat. The ranch hands made a big deal of jerking their shirts out of their waistbands and then starting to unbutton them.
A woman shouted, "Just the shirts, gentlemen."
And that had everyone laughing. — Terry Spear

The Kite Charm

For A Life Filled with High-Flying Fun, Play with the Wonder of A Child — Viola Shipman

What Grandma has told me about life: No one promised you a bucket of pansies, so don't be one. Everyone thinks a great life is one filled with fun and fluff. No, that's a pointless life. A great life is filled with challenges and adversity. It's how you knock the hell out of it that shows what kind of person you are. Keep a hand out to help someone up, but don't give them two hands or you'll enable them to be a weak and spineless jellyfish. Always look your best. Not for a man, that's ridiculous, what do they know? Nothing. They know nothing. It's for you. — Cathy Lamb

That's what it is to be a grandma. All fun and no stress. — Marie Osmond

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?"
You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious."
I just lost my appetite," he declared ... — Brandon Mull

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! — Hannah Whitall Smith

I'm thinking about getting a computer so I can have cybersex," Grandma said. "Anybody know how that works?" "You go into a chat room," Valerie said. "And you meet someone. And then you type dirty suggestions to each other." "That sounds like fun," Grandma said. "How does the sex part happen?" "You sort of have to do the sex part yourself." "I knew it was too good to be true," Grandma said. "There's always a catch to everything. — Janet Evanovich

A teenage boy with a Mohawk sat across from me, sneering. I'd seen that look before. Why was it a problem to knit in public?
"My grandma knits."
I ignored him.
"So what are you making, Grandma?" Mohawk's voice was ugly.
I arched my eyebrow. "A cashmere cock ring. Your grandma ever knit one of those?"
The kid's eyes grew wide, and he suddenly became very interested in a four-year-old issue of Teen Vogue. — Leslie Langtry

I think of how Grandma makes fun of love. And maybe that's the key. — Heidi W. Durrow

I always carry pictures of my children and grandchildren, which is what makes it all worthwhile. It's great fun that my grandkids get to see the costumes in Alice in Wonderland or a doll with grandma's dress. — Colleen Atwood

Our kids need us to be the dad, not a fun single uncle. When you can replace your 007 poster with a framed portrait of Grandma, your kids will experience an underlying sense of being at home when they are with you - whether for a weekend, a summer, or full-time. — Tez Brooks

I don't think these women are stupid. I think they're selling a personality that's very marketable: Wouldn't it be fun if we were all gorgeous and didn't have a care? But creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, I'm stupid, isn't it cute? makes me want to throw daggers at them! I want to say to them, My grandma did not fight for what she fought for, and my mother did not fight for what she fought for, so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid. Saying that to young women, little girls, my daughter? It's not OK. — Reese Witherspoon