Foul Mouthed Comedians Quotes & Sayings

I am sick of reading on Daily Mail message boards that I am 'one of these foul-mouthed modern comedians' when I am absolutely not. Honestly, who are these cunts? — Stewart Lee

Your Great-Aunt Muriel doesn't agree, I just met her upstairs while she was giving Fleur the tiara. "She said 'Oh dear, is this the muggle born?' and then, 'Bad posture, skinny ankles.'" Don't take it personally, she's rude to everyone," said Ron. "Talking about Muriel?" inquired George, reemerging from the marquee with Fred. "Yeah, she's just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat. — J.K. Rowling

Are you an artist? Look about you. Is there a physical tool whose use you have mastered, a part of your body that responds utterly to your control? Is your motive esthetic? If so, you are an artist. If not, you are probably a writer. — Robert Breault

She glanced at Terrible, a quick little eye-dart before looking down again; Rick figured she didn't want him to overhear. "He's my family," she said finally. Quietly. "He's everything." "Oh, — Stacia Kane

both were writers of high ambition, with — Gyles Brandreth

Nothing in this world was more difficult than love. — Gabriel Garcia Marquez

It would be a comfort, she felt, to lean; to sit down; yes, to lie down; never, never, never to get up again. — Virginia Woolf

[She] knew there were women who worked successfully out of the home. They ran businesses, created empires and managed to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted children who went on to graduate magna cum laude from Harvard or became world-renowned concert pianists. Possibly both.
These women accomplished all this while cooking gourmet meals, furnishing their homes with Italian antiques, giving clever, intelligent interviews with Money magazine and People, and maintaining a brilliant marriage with an active enviable sex life and never tipping the scale at an ounce over their ideal weight ...
She knew those women were out there. If she'd had a gun, she'd have hunted every last one of them down and shot them like rabid dogs for the good of womankind. — Nora Roberts

It's a great tragedy when the Bible is interpreted by those who are not in love. — Bill Johnson

Folks hear stories like that, they just stop trying to talk to these young cats out here. We start generalizing about 'em just like the white folks do. We see 'em hanging out, we head the other way. After a while, even the good kid starts realizing ain't nobody out here gonna look out for him. So he figures he's gonna have to look after himself. Bottom line, you got twelve-year-olds making their own damn rules. Johnnie — Barack Obama

True consistency, that of the prudent and the wise, is to act in conformity with circumstances and not to act always the same way under a change of circumstances. — John C. Calhoun

The moderate are not usually the most sincere, for the same circumspection which makes them moderate makes them likewise retentive of what could give offence. — Walter Savage Landor

In life, as in dreams, however, things often go by contraries — L.M. Montgomery

On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper - all your choices should be so easy. — Sandra Bernhard

Let us learn to adapt our ways to the generosity of Nature. Let us learn to care, yet without letting care itself bring us down. Let us learn to think, yet without letting thought be our only master. Let us learn to die, yet without believing in death. — Patrick Woodroffe

John Cleese was a big hero of mine. He grew up in Weston Super Mare near Bristol where I grew up; he was always very tall and gangly, but he was smart and used his physicality in a very funny way. I used to think, 'Well he came from Weston and he did it, so there's a chance for me.' — Stephen Merchant