For Dummies Quotes & Sayings

So where did you get your information? Werewolves for Dummies? No, wait, you watched Underworld? Or maybe you were raised by wolves? Stop me
when I'm warm. - Shella — Krista Alasti

You can look forward to reading - I swear this is true - Microsoft Bob for Dummies. — Josh Quittner

For some people, history is simply what your wife looks good standing in front of. It's what's cast in bronze, or framed in sepia tones, or acted out with wax dummies and period furniture. It takes place in glass bubbles filled with water and chunks of plastic snow; it's stamped on souvenir pencils and summarized in reprint newspapers. History nowadays is recorded in memorabilia. If you can't purchase a shopping bag that alludes to something, people won't believe it ever happened. — Elizabeth McCracken

The good news is that your child has a natural desire to do well. Your job as parent is to bring out this quality and cherish it until the day your kids leave home, and then some. — Marlene Targ Brill

Ignoring for a moment the power of the American Medical Association, we still wouldn't see a huge amount of books on neurosurgery for dummies in 21 days or whatever. It's just plain inappropriate, and it's intentionally out of people's reach. — Erik Naggum

Gotta have a head like a wrecking ball, a spirit like one of them punching clown dummies that always weeble-wobbles back up to standing. This takes time. Stories need to find the right home, the right audience. Stick with it. Quitting is for sad pandas. — Chuck Wendig

I was a kid in the third grade ... saw a dummy in the toy store. In the 60's and 70's there were a lot of those vinyl ventriloquism dummies - just about every toy store had one. Everyone close to my age that I've talked to, especially guys for some reason, tell me that they had one too but they said they never could do it. So many people come up to me and say that. It was just something that I thought was cool. I started doing book reports with it - I developed the skill. I easily got A's on all my reports. It was just something that a little kid grasped on to - so I stuck with it. — Jeff Dunham

I think when it comes to women who write or who fancy ourselves 'hip downtown literati', there is a certain contempt for being overly sexual or really looking for boyfriends. We tend to be marginalized as some 'Sex & The City' Carrie Bradshaw chick-lit dummies who just want shoes and a ring. — Julie Klausner

The goal of Football Rules & Positions In A Day For Dummies is to help you understand the basics of football rules and the player positions. — Howie Long

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies ... I'm not really a lawyer. — Tina Fey

You gotta remember the smartest thing the Congress did was to limit the voters in this country. Out of 3 1/2 to 4 million people, 200,000 voted. And that was true for a helluva long time, and the republic would have never survived if all the dummies had voted along with the intelligent people. — Richard Nixon

If there were a how-to book, Demon Slaying for Dummies, or The Complete Idiot' s Guide to
Vampire Hunting, or a Wikipedia entry, or whatever, I think Rule No. 1 would be something like:
Do
not, under any circumstances, stop in the woods on the night of a full fucking moon and shoot up, when
you know the rogue werewolf you've been tracking for a week is probably pretty close by. — Kathleen Tierney

I'm that annoying?"
"Well, you have pretty sharp mouth."
"I don't want to sound like a smartass, but sir I can't handle my own smartassness for being uncontrollably sparkling from me and mentally hurts you due to its awesomeness. I'm just unbelievably genius. Dummies like you call us 'crazy' but it's such a strong word."
"See? That's why people hates you." "And 'us'?"
"I'm pretty sure I'm not the only living genius. — Rea Lidde

Cooks are in some ways very much like actors; they must be fit and strong, since acting and cooking are two of the most exacting professions. They must be blessed - or cursed, whichever way you care to look at it - with what is called the artistic temperament, which means that if they are to act or cook at all well, it cannot be for duds or dummies. — Andre Simon

If you live around dummies and fake blood for six months, it becomes a part of you. It's fake blood, but sometimes I still feel the real scent of blood, so it's more mentally collapsing, not only physical. — Min-sik Choi

Working with Your Budding Adolescent: 16 to 24 Weeks

When you and your puppy reach the budding adolescent stage, you may feel like hiding in the closet. Some days are livable. However, other days you feel like moving. Your puppy doesn't listen or respond to known directions. He bolts, chases, and nips at everything that moves. He demands your attention and barks or mounts you when he doesn't get his way. He insists on being the center of attention every moment of every day.

Keep in mind that this stage is normal. I managed to live through it, and you will too. — Sarah Hodgson

Literary friendship is impossible, it seems; at least, it is impossible for me. Indeed, all male friendships outside of work sometimes seem to be impossible: you look at each other at the restaurant at some point in the conversation and you know that each of you is thinking, man, this is futile, why are we here, we're wasting our time, we have nothing to say, we're not involved in some project together that we can bitch about, we can't flirt, we feel like dummies discussing movies or books, we aren't in some moral bind with a woman that we need to confess, we've each said the other is a genius several times already, and the whole thing is depressing and the tone is false and we might as well go home to our wives and children and rent buddy movies like Midnight Run or Planes, Trains, and Automobiles or The Pope of Greenwich Village when we need a shot of the old camaraderie. — Nicholson Baker

For a split second, Harry thought how absurd it was for Tonks to expect the dummy to hear her talking that quietly through a sheet of glass, when there were buses rumbling along behind her and all the racket of street full of shoppers. Then he reminded himself that dummies could not hear anyway. — J.K. Rowling

I'm writing a new book called 'Ventroliquism for Dummies'. — Ron Moore

Network selectively. Nothing says "business newbie" like shotgun networking. "You never know when someone might say yes" is marketing for dummies. Take the time to build a profile of your ideal customers, and target your networking activities to reach them. Speak to those who are already predisposed to want what you offer. Almost any profile is better than "anyone with a pulse." — Steve Pavlina

Of course it's your fault," Grandma said. "You must be doing something wrong, if you know what I mean. Maybe you need to buy a book that tells you how to do it. I hear there are books out there with pictures and everything. I saw one in the store the other day. It was called A Sex Guide for Dummies. — Janet Evanovich

Many accepted authors simply do not exist for me. Their names are engraved on empty graves, their books are dummies, they are complete nonentities insofar as my taste in reading is concerned. Brecht, Faulkner, Camus, many others, mean absolutely nothing to me, and I must fight a suspicion of conspiracy against my brain when I see blandly accepted as "great literature" by critics and fellow authors Lady Chatterley's copulations or the pretentious nonsense of Mr. Pound, that total fake. I note he has replaced Dr. Schweitzer in some homes. — Vladimir Nabokov

Watching you try to be a smooth manipulator is like watching a moose do ballet. What did you do, read Machiavelli for Dummies? Or — Elliott James

Love was for dummies, soulmates were the creation of pulp-fiction writers; romance was craved by ageing, lonely cat owners. Successful relationships were built on rationality and compromise. — Karan Bajaj

So, how was your afternoon with the two bitches in the flesh?" Finn inquired. I laughed but didn't correct him. Should I have? God, I was so lost. If I was a Queen Bitch with Claire and Melissa, was I one with Finn too? Should I have acted bitchy this entire time? Should I now? Someone please hand me a Coma for Dummies book. — Emily Ruben

Take the very word "etiquette." From the French for "little signs," it also connotes "social rules" both in French and in English. In fact, the two meanings share a history. King Louis XIV of France needed to give his nobles a bit of help behaving properly at his palace at Versailles, so little signs were posted telling them what was what - social dos and don'ts for dummies, so to speak. — Daniel Post Senning

Only a lunatic would fail to distinguish between himself and his representative self. This banal distinction may be most obvious in the workplace, where invariably one must avail oneself of an even-tempered, abnormally industrious dummy stand-in who, precisely because it is a dummy, makes life easier for all the others, who are themselves present, which is to say, represented, by dummies of their own. — Joseph O'Neill

Hi, Sam!"
"Hi, Tiggy."
"You okay?"
"Yes, Tiggy."
"Tiggy smash something for Sam?"
"No, Tiggy."
"Tiggy smash something for Sam."
He smashed one of the wooden sparring dummies.
"Thank you, Tiggy."
"Tiggy smash!" he bellowed and then proceeded to smash three more. — T.J. Klune

Do I have to do everything myself?" The cry was a soul-freezing mixture of rage and torment. "Ain't there no one to stop asking questions and just do my bidding? By God, I'll kill and kill and kill and kill and never stop killing if people don't do what I say. I'll beat you dummies till the blood runs out of your eyes. I'll tie every man on this godforsaken island to a tree and he'll bark like a dog for me to throw him a bone. — Walter Kaylin

You know, a carving, especially if it's polychrome, is not meant to move. These faces, these half-bodies, when you animate them, they're more live than the living. They can be dangerous for those who don't really understand them. With contained energy, no one can predict what will happen when it's released. — Jacques Yonnet