Flickr Funny Quotes & Sayings

Being human is a lot more difficult than being on tour. — Trent Reznor

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft — Mary Schmich

That night Lee suffered overheated, sexually complicated dreams; he dreamed that Merrin was naked in his bed, and he sat on top of her arms and held her down while he forced a funnel into her mouth, a red plastic funnel, and then poured gasoline into it, and she began to buck under him as in orgasm. — Joe Hill

On my first day on the set of 'Boston Legal,' I thought the director was calling me 'Candice' instead of 'Constance.' But I didn't realize he was actually talking to Candice Bergen. — Constance Zimmer

You are wonderful. Valuable. Worthwhile. Lovable. Not because others think so. Self worth comes from only one place: self. — Karen Salmansohn

To dress up today in the threadbare garments of yesterday is to create an impoverished tomorrow. — Craig D. Lounsbrough

I'm exceptionally email un-savvy, so to reply to my emails is like a torture. It's like literally, half of all my emails, I get my secretary to type out for me. And the personal ones, I avoid and just pick up the phone and call them. — Karan Johar

Your mother was a saint, if there ever was one. She's smiling on you today, you know that, right?" "I know." "Boy did she love you." "I wish I felt like I knew her," I said, like I always said. "Know yourself, and you'll know her," Dad said, another one of his famous sayings. "You're a lot like her. — Jennifer Handford

Sam again demonstrated her affection for me by not clubbing my brains out. We were having a friendship fest here at the Thinking Cup. — Rick Riordan

Your persistent longing is your persistent voice. But when love grows cold, the heart grows silent. Burning love is the outcry of the heart! If you are filled with longing all the time, you will keep crying out, and if your love perseveres, your cry will be heard without fail. — Saint Augustine

How easy to be a bird or an animal, living from day to day, unaware you're alive, unaware that one day you will die. — Rachel Ward

At the heart of science is an essential balance between two seemingly contradictory attitudes
an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense. — Carl Sagan

A few dozen kids sprawled in the seats in front of him, listening to iPods, talking, or sleeping. — Rick Riordan

Thought for today: Douchey people are going to find a way to be douchey no matter what you do or how badly you want them not to be. — Kathryne Donovan