Farting Like A Quotes & Sayings

The trust, confidence, and support given to us by our chain of command, and the tenacity of the great noncommissioned officers of the past, have laid the foundation and developed our quality corporals and sergeants. — Julius W. Gates

Let's shake hands and be friends, but please, I beg you, stop farting like that, becuase I'm beinning to hallucinate and in my dreams I see Comrade Josepg Stalin doing the charleston. — Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I still see people buying and swilling terrible beer. I sometimes think that my job is like farting against a gale, but I just keep moving forward. — Michael Jackson

The main thing in a cup tie is to get through. — Walter Smith

You can make one (self-contained self-rescuer) that would last all day, but you'd have to carry it behind in a wagon. — Kenneth Williams

Christmas," said Robin, with a faint grin but without apology. "I was going to put it up yesterday, but after Leonora was charged I didn't feel very festive. Anyway, I've got you an appointment to see her at six. You'll need to take photo ID - " "Good work, thanks." " - and I got you sandwiches and I thought you might like to see this," she said. "Michael Fancourt's given an interview about Quine." She passed him a pack of cheese and pickle sandwiches and a copy of The Times, folded to the correct page. Strike lowered himself onto the farting leather sofa and ate while reading the article, which was adorned with a split photograph. On the left-hand side was a picture of Fancourt standing in front of an Elizabethan country house. Photographed from below, his head — Robert Galbraith

I find it gross to talk about bodily functions like shitting or farting or your period, if you're a girl, unless it's extremely necessary. — Riley Keough

While the churches, bringing the sweet smell of piety for the soul, came in prancing and farting like brewery horses in bock-beer time, the sister evangelism, with release and joy for the body, crept in.
silently and greyly, with its head bowed and its face covered. — John Steinbeck

Castleford looked up lazily. He turned his gaze on Summerhays. "What is wrong with him, to get him all puffed up like he holds a bad wind that needs farting?" "Fate. Passion. The stupidity of life." Castleford drank some coffee. "In other words, he has fallen in love. — Madeline Hunter

... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these. — Amit Chaudhuri

I would like to believe in the myth that we grow wiser with age. In a sense my disbelief is wisdom. Those of a middle generation, if charitable or sentimental, subscribe to the wisdom myth, while the callous see us as dispensable objects, like broken furniture or dead flowers. For the young we scarcely exist unless we are unavoidable members of the same family, farting, slobbering, perpetually mislaying teeth and bifocals. — Patrick White

Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins that may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days like a broken man behind a farting camel. — Hafez

He said it with this really serious look on his face, like he was in the process of farting out some really important wisdom. — Lauren Oliver

Human beings in there took turns standing or lying down. The legs of those who stood were like fence posts driven into a warm, squirming, farting, sighing earth. The queer earth was a mosaic of sleepers who nestled like spoons. — Kurt Vonnegut

I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said.
I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that. — Janet Evanovich

Dealing with another human being on an intimate level is an exercise that is inherently fraught with difficulties. All human beings have good and bad traits/habits--no one is perfect. Even the most wonderful, "perfect for you" guy is going to do things that annoy you to no end, like leaving the toilet seat up, farting in bed, or conveniently forgetting how to put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder after using the last of it. That's life, people. — Zofie Kae

It is sometimes easier to overcome our defeats than it is to overcome our victories. — C.L. Gammon

And when I finished my story, Nesta merely stared at me for a long while before asking me to teach her how to paint. — Sarah J. Maas

Choosing to have a child you can't take care of is like farting in an elevator. Sure you got it out, but not it's everyone else's problem. — Richard Jeni

And don't put a bunch of bullshit in my mouth, or get cute and try to make me look stupid. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the salon to have my pubic hair straightened and dyed white so that my dick looks like Santa Claus." He closed the door, farting loudly all the way to his car. I went — David Wong

See, forgiveness doesn't happen all at once. It's not an event
it's a process. Forgiveness happens while you're asleep, while you're dreaming, while you're inline at the coffee shop, while you're showering, eating, farting, jerking off. It happens in the back of your mind, and then one day you realize that you don't hate the person anymore, that your anger has gone away somewhere. And you understand. You've forgiven them. You don't know how or why. It sneaked up on you. It happened in the small spaces between thoughts and in the seconds between ideas and blinks. That's where forgiveness happens. Because anger and hatred, when left unfed, bleed away like air from a punctured tire, over time and days and years. Forgiveness is stealth. At least, that's what I hope. — Barry Lyga

Anyway, it was Oscar who called me to remind me that our nephew, Lydia's son Garnett, was turning eleven years old. Fuck my life. I hated that kid. He smelled like asparagus, and he sweated way too much for a healthy child; but then Garnett, given his propensity for biting teachers and catching chipmunks in the backyard only to bury them alive, was no normal kid. He was a case study for sociopathic behavior in the making. A walking, talking, farting, sweaty, odorous, chipmunk-burying cry for help. — Richard J. O'Brien

People change for each other all the time. Take any love story, any great love story at all, and you'll see that people have to be willing to change if they're going to make things work out. Like Shrek, when Fiona tells Shrek that she's sick of his burping and farting and everything. And Shrek's like, 'I'm an ogre. Deal with it.' And Fiona says, 'What if I can't?' So Shrek takes that potion that turns him into a hunky prince. He does it out of love for Fiona. — Lauren Myracle

Like it says in the Bible, being a friend means never having to witness farting belly buttons. Or something. — Jenny Lawson

Life is either always a tight-rope or a featherbed. Give me a tight-rope. — Edith Wharton

Sometimes, Stukeley wondered if the captain, in spite of his considerable powers, was blessed with the memory of a goldfish. — Justin Somper

I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog! — Matthew Lillard

I hope, after I'm gone, there will still be a Yes. — Chris Squire

Whoever is not tied to possessions, clinging neither to body nor mind, is never in bondage. — Thich Nhat Hanh

never sit in the first row at the ballet. — John D. MacDonald

My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog. — Alex O'Loughlin

We come to realize that other people's welfare is just as important as our own. In helping them, we help ourselves. In helping ourselves, we help the world. — Pema Chodron

Oi, doll, ignore him,' said Sia, using a notebook to fan her face. 'Sweet lord, I'm like a human hot-water bottle wrapped in doona in front of a heater at the moment. And did I tell you about the constant farting? — Gabrielle Tozer

Authors need to decide if they want to keep forever to themselves, or share forever with a publisher who takes over half the cover price. — J.A. Konrath

Acknowledge your fear, odd one. Fearlessness is for the insane and the arrogant. You are neither. Those who rely on you for their lives will be well served only if you fear what you should fear. You are a unique soul, a child of grace, but you can still fail yourself and others. — Dean Koontz

Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast. — Kevin Hart

There she was, welcoming him in, farting prrrrrrp like ten thousand earthquakes, belching arrrp and og like a million volcanoes, while the whole universe roared with approving laughter. She swung tits like sagging moons at him, drew from black teeth an endless snake of bacon-rind, pelted him with balls of ear-wax and snuffled green snot in his direction. The thrones roared and the powers were helpless. Enderby was suffocated by smells: sulphuretted hydrogren, unwashed armpits, halitosis, faeces, standing urine, putrefying meat - all thrust into his mouth and nostrils in squelchy balls. 'Help,' he tried to call. 'Help help help.' He fell, crawled, crying, 'Help, help.' The black, which was solid laughter and filth, closed on him. He gave one last scream before yielding to it. — Anthony Burgess

Deeds are males, words females are. — Sir John Davies

Our common humanity is more important than all the things that divide us. — Mairead Corrigan

I used to be a folk singer, but I was ... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog. And being a folk singer doesn't make you attractive to women. — Billy Connolly

I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum. — Anthony Langston

It's a really hard movie [Insane Farting Corpse] to do a Q&A for, as well. The audience is still kind of reeling and being like, "I don't know what to ask." — Daniel Radcliffe