Fart Joke Quotes & Sayings

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. — Will Rogers

Within every little dream seed is the potential viability of sprouting to becoming a great forest. — Israelmore Ayivor

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke. — Harold Ramis

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

He feared her hatred more than any sword. — Maeve Greyson

For the second Monday in February, Sara had this joke: I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed everyone was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. — Dale Waller

I'm basically an Upper West Side Jewish writer. — Alan Furst

I have never believed that the critic is the rival of the poet, but I do believe that criticism is a genre of literature or it does not exist. — Harold Bloom

Over at the Olivia Pope & Associates set, we're like middle school children. Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around; there's show tunes and fart noises. — Darby Stanchfield

(I)t was by Cicero's attainments that that he'd gained special witness to the liberals' adjustment to a brush with actual equality. — Jonathan Lethem

your same blood doesn't run in the arms and legs of the person you're next to, you can't trust anything. And even then. It's not — Anthony Doerr

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... — Demetri Martin

Lydia shook her head. "This is my life. Getting yelled at in a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night by somebody doing a bad impression of PG-13 fart-joke-movie comedian. — Jeff Zentner

Every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh. — Philip K. Dick

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. — Jenny Eclair

It goes on top and breaks down,
It can emit a high or low sound.
Each atom of such noisy chute
Exhale the aroma of a ripe fruit. — Ana Claudia Antunes

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke. — Katy Perry