Famous Historical Funny Quotes & Sayings

Don't say it's impossible! Turn your command over to the next officer. If he can't do it, I'll find someone who can, even if I have to take him from the ranks! — Stonewall Jackson

There is something about someone making a fantastic sandwich, taking care to spread lots of mayo all the way to the edges. Making sure every bite has a bit of everything in it. There's something special about that. — April Bloomfield

To me, traveling by bus is like climbing into a closet and watching 'Das Boot.' — Buzz Osborne

I am certain that most Germans have instinctive liking for Italy, just as Italians admire Germans for their many qualities. — Mario Monti

A name is a solemn thing ... — L. T. Meade

Sawyer reached out and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. "Even if I was wrong to take you without a thought to Beau's feelings, I can't make myself regret it. I've had three amazing years with you, Ash."
I didn't know what to say. I'd had good times too but I did regret choosing the wrong Vincent boy. He gave me one last sad smile then dropped my hair and walked away. — Abbi Glines

A compelling personal vision creates passion. Think about something that you are passionate about, and you will always find a clear vision behind it. If you find you're lacking passion in either your business or in a relationship, it's not a crisis of passion; it's a crisis of vision. We — Brian P. Moran

This actual question of 'Why does God allow war?' is not considered or raised as such in the Bible at all. — Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground. — Chuck Palahniuk

The course of true love rarely runs smooth. — Jasper Fforde

He mentioned that he didn't like Jack Kerouac either, but this wasn't quite true. "I don't like people who like Jack Kerouac," he clarified. — Michael Finkel

I'm learning. The mick from the lanes of Limerick letting the envy hang out. I'm dealing with first-and second-generation immigrants, like myself, but I've also got the middle classes and the upper middle classes and I'm sneering. I don't want to sneer but old habits die hard. It's the resentment. Not even anger. Just resentment. I shake my head over the things that concern them, that middle-class stuff, it's too hot, it's too cold and this is not the toothpaste I like. Here am I after three decades in America still happy to be able to turn on the electric light or reach for a towel after the shower. — Frank McCourt